Shape Shifting!

Goonie Goo Goo

2010-05-24T00:46:00.002-04:00

There is no present tense so ripe with tenacity as to tear my tenderloin terry cloth underwear in to tiny little pieces.

PS
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timmy_Cappello

FEED THE LEG!****

2010-03-12T00:19:00.002-05:00

There was a big problem with RSS feeds in the future. Things were coming in some highly pixelated form of text. As if it were leaves that caterpillars were munching away at. Half naked and lashed on the big screen, while old people cry about Robert Mapplethorpe's now deceased categorization, we can start seeing that history is terrible and we can learn from it something about how many of us there really are. So I wish anyone reading this peace.

****buy my book?

Digitization Part I, act II Feel Good Look Great

2010-02-04T23:10:00.004-05:00

DEBBIE DRAKE MOTHERFUCKERS!
Debbie Drake-Feel Good Look Great!
I know not everyone has time to workout while listening to vinyl, but for the few, the proud, the ones who look good and feel great, there is Debbie Drake holding it down. Camron once said, "Shit ain't changed since '88, get on the corner and push something." Of course he was right, deep down I can't deny Mr. Giles' body of work, it's too damn convincing. In the mean time, it can be nice to chop up old workout videos to make up yer own NEW WORKOUT plan, because in reality, Kanye West got it right long ago, lest we forget! Anyways, enjoy enjoy enjoy! Part I, ACt II Debbie Drake, the aforementioned damsel of yer vintage dreams.

TAKING FORM! DIGITIZATION PHASE 1, act 1, part 1, Blood on the Tracks

2010-01-25T12:26:00.003-05:00

Ey, check it. The digitization of the inner worlds of one man's mind begins today; phase 1, a new vinyl rip e'eryday till the collection is readily available for all interested parties. (Blood on the Tracks, all zipped up for yer pleasure.

Act 1, part 1; Blood on the Tracks.

You may or may not have ever fornicated with BOTT as yer soundtrack; whether inadvertent or explicit, this is one of the oddest albums to fuck someone to. As far as 'divorce' themed works go, few tracks howl quite like "Idiot Wind", just as few can offer a kind of vertiginous nostalgia that comes from unwrapping "Tangled up in Blue". It's best to form your own opinion on such things though, so happy hunting, and stay posted for future postings.

THAT DAMN VAN CUZO KID!

2010-01-14T02:02:00.002-05:00

Frank, we have a problem on this street. This used to be a good neighborhood, you see. Something has changed, I don't feel safe anymore. I thought people valued things like family and hard work, but I look around, and all I see are fucking babies everywhere, and nobody taking the fuck care of 'em. Not a one! Not a fucking one! We start crying out about this and that and this and that. The worst part, is that I see myself amongst them, more and more; the wide-eyed, easily scared type, like deer in the fucking headlights Frank! So, I give every one of 'em dopplegangers a greek nickname, or epithet, call it what you will. One time comes running this one girl "Dara, the Innocuous", I swear she was misshapen in a way that made her look like a faucet.

Intelligent Thought, not quite

2009-12-26T11:42:00.004-05:00

There is a light drizzle that persists, punishingly so this December 26th, outside my parent's house in the outskirts of Princeton Boro. Every good blogger has got to write from mom and pop's place. The whizzing current of emotion and inertia that is running through my brain as each moment ticks by could be termed, "unbearable", by those who don't enjoy things like the tea cups at whatever local amusement park you choose to advertise by saying thurr name out loud. Days like this bring me back to a beautiful book that was found at a local second-hand book shop on the outskirts of Nassau St., "Azul" by Ruben Darío. The opening of this text, itself a series of short stories and poems, is an open letter from Victor Hugo in which he declares (I'm paraphrasing/poorly translating) "all art is blues". Extrapolate how you will, fine reader, but Darío has no problem confirming such grandiose claims within the confines of his text. The first story begins with weather not unlike the conditions I currently face today, but, the author tells us, far, far away in a distant land there is a great kingdom full of riches, all the greatest material wealth concentrated in the hands of a single ruler. He meets a poor poet who scoffs at such a thing, thus perplexing the ruler whose entire life has been predicated on this pursuit of devouring all that came within his grasp. It is slowly, beautifully made clear to this man of material goods that the poet's riches cannot be seen, for they lie inside his mind.

Blues is a word that has been run through the meat grinder of American genrefication, thus making it a kind of fiction. Lazy art fans will mention Pablo Picasso's "Blue Period" as a time of great melancholy, when the painter was struggling to reconcile his passion, his talent with the world he found himself in. Wolf Parade's Dan Boeckner quipped, "I'm not in love with the modern world," touché; it is this feeling of lovelessness, My Bloody Valentine may have gotten it too, that is at the core of a single often-highlighted aspect of the derivative motif we call Blues. By trying to distill the essence of blues in a series of archetypes, not unlike what the folks over at Pandora internet radio are trying to accomplish with their musical genome project, we are left with nothing more than well intentioned pastiche. Is this the great sadness, then? The music that came from a place of such radically accepted oppression by those who gained from it (I'll call it racial slavery), slowly, but surely became embraced by the progeny of its detractors. This is why gawker folks can write their vitriolic posts about movies like Avatar and the Last Samurai, that still place an emphasis on white superiority. Whatever the fuck blues was, we'll never really know. Some of the all-time greats were blind, this does not surprise me. In the sense that the more you read about it, the more you codify it, the less real it becomes.

youtube postscript:

SHAPE SHIFTING!

2009-12-17T01:33:00.002-05:00

I'm gonna tell you straight look in the fucking mirror, you're wack.

Care Care Care

2009-12-05T13:54:00.002-05:00

Ok, no more mr. nice guy.

CAPO!

2009-12-02T11:31:00.001-05:00

Rafa, I love you.

Well, yeah

2009-11-30T13:11:00.001-05:00

recent bout with the flu fucked me up!

Quit cognitive checklist:
-Pathetically broke as fuck? yeah.
-Masturbating excessively in the form of a blog? MMhm.
-Writing songs? Not quite like this one.

pissing in the wind

2009-11-24T00:29:00.002-05:00

You can't fight the powers of the mainstream; and hell, who in their right mind would, except for the idiot who wants to hold the reins on that power game. The monkeys who assume the three positions of pious action (see NO evil, hear NO evil, speak NO evil) are decidedly more on point in their negation of such things than I had ever considered until RIGHT NOW.

Update your idols, and you can make it all the way to pitchfork. Kill your idols? Sit and wait for the angry mob to come storm the castle of yer mind. Who wants to piss in the wind? Who wants to sit on the breezy hillside and get someone else's urine in your mouth as you go in to kiss the one you've known you've always loved? Who doesn't love Robert Kelly?

So, there's just no need to keep crying myself to sleep, no matter what I wake up bleary eyed.

HORATIO!

2009-11-16T02:14:00.001-05:00

HORATIO!

resonance in grass

2009-11-13T13:32:00.003-05:00

Between David Brooks and Karl Rove, what's an independent to do in this decaying political landscape of ours here in the Ol' United States of America? If you spend all day watching cable news networks, the push-pull policy dichotomy has never seemed so strong between Asses and Elephants. Disillusioned youngsters are content to get their news on comedy programs, because, frankly, what news isn't second or even third hand these days? Maybe, then, it's high time to get far away from these current boondoggling cum-farts and contemplate the dilemma of another time, another place, another day...Consider the West End of Chicago in developing times; a major selling point of the city was that watching the prairie grass was like seeing an ocean of greenish hues as the wind swept over it all. A similar notion was alive in the southern neighborhoods of Buenos Aires, Argentina, where the vertiginous rush of the San Telmo marketplace gave way to the Pampas, the grassy plain that was the life giving source for the bustling masses huddled in to such close quarters. In Buenos Aires, every year finds 'La Rural', a national 4H fair, popping off in all its splendor. 5 convention center buildings filled to the brim with booths of every possible facet of agriculture. Ingrained in the products and services offered are relevant tales of the places they come from. Swirling all around are the proud textiles of the Andes, the luxuriant warmth of Patagonian fur, 'Swiss' chocolate from Bariloche, enough Mendozan wine to make Caligula blush...

All the pomp and circumstance of the fair overlooks the harsh reality of rural life in Argentina. On a trip out to the Massalines Particulares factory, just outside the city limits, the end of the urban highway was punctuated (!) by the squalor of the completely rural outlying region; anorexic horses and a beleaguered looking group of individuals who didn't seem much better fed then their equestrian friend. Upon arriving at the factory (where they produce every possible Phillip Morris brand cigarette), my host, Guillermina, escorted me to a room where more than a dozen employees were comfortably seated, snacking on sandwiches and coffee. I asked them, "why do you want to improve your English language skills?" Most believed that it would enable them to rise higher in the company ladder, one assembly-line worker made it clear that he simply wanted to enjoy future vacations more. Fast forward to a cab ride through the microcentro, business district, where I ask a cab driver what he thought of then current-president Kirchner; "aunque está enomarado por mucha gente, si preguntes los del campo iban a decirte el contrario"(yes he is beloved, but those outside of the city have a different tale to tell.) At that moment it became clearer to me that the disconnect between the population who consumed and the population who produced had grown wider amongst these people. 'La Rural' served as a mechanism for the rich to trumpet the glory of their financial superiority; tickets were not cheap. The real workers were busy striking and shutting down highways in Córdoba over an executive decision to halt the exportation of beef. That same disconnect is ever so real here in the US of A. I had a chat with a bilingual worker for the Baltimore Health Department who noted that her Italian family's conservative worldview could be tolerated in the sense that, 'just lived differently from us, they had to make their own food...' upon which point I had to cut her off, invoking Dionysus, to wonder just how she had come to that conclusion.(what does MF DOOM have to say about this?). I questioned her belief that we don't have to work for our food like our grandparents did, as we chewed on three day old baby carrots, chopped and chilling in a plastic container. She smiled, seeing my blatant hypocrisy in action, and shrugged it off, moving on to tell me that it really sucked to not be able to smoke weed with the fear of failing a mandatory drug screening before she could begin working.

What is that you say?

2009-11-12T18:49:00.002-05:00

Luis Scola, seemingly earthbound power forward for the Houston Rockets, was once a springboard. Por ejemplo:

I used to hate watching his plodding maneuvers on the court for the Argentine National Selection, but I finally realized that he is kind of the shit.

Happiness

2009-11-11T22:17:00.002-05:00

If you do the math there were 2,460 games played in the NBA last season by all 30 teams. I bore witness to nay a single live broadcast of any of them. If all life is suffering, for all life is craving, then it seems that I was truly living in the interim period where a lack of broadband internet in the home and no TV led to the situation of reading box scores like a horoscope. The highlight of my basketball viewership while in buttfuck, Andalucía was watching former NBA rotation/Stanford Cardinal Curtis Borchardt flush a few wide open dunks with authority, before leaving with a sprained right wrist. This led to a lot of speculative imagination as to the boyish reverie of watching a game with other fans, as well as trying to figure out the keystone to each team's bench players. Sitting and watching the Cavs shut down Dwight Howard was not particularly riveting, with dinosaurs roaming the Amway Arena lanes, there was not a single highlight play, yet I find myself smiling like a child.

The world is a big, scary place.

WEB CORRESPONDENCE

2009-11-11T14:22:00.001-05:00

Get this man his own serial.

Hey!

2009-11-11T13:48:00.002-05:00

It would be too easy to say that I want nothing to do with all the assclowns who populated those high school halls, whose memories are fading faster with each and every breath, but come ON, I WAS one of those assclowns.

So, for one thing, John McCarthy makes the movies.

Fancy Video Clip

If

2009-11-10T15:56:00.002-05:00

For those who didn't watch the US Open at Flushing Meadows in 2000, Marat Safin might not be the most recognizable name. The tall, sinewy Russian has a power game few can match, and a proclivity for meltdowns on par with the most hilarious Darko Milicic tantrums.

Groucho Remarx

2009-11-09T20:13:00.002-05:00

I couldn't help but wonder today if I wasn't the luckiest lazybones in the greater Wicomico county area. Farmwork was rewarded with a gift; An EMU Vintage Keys 61.

Also, some delicious food got made:

Green deliciousness

Steamed Kale, Hon Tsai Tai, Toasted Almonds, Pine Nuts, and balsamic vinegar

Orange deliciousness

Roasted turnips, mashed sweet potatoes, curried cauliflower, sauteed onions with melted 3 cheese blend baked to golden brown

HD Thoreau in hi-def

2009-11-06T12:32:00.002-05:00

In his treatise, "On Nature and Man", Henry David Thoreau spells out in clean, radiant language the wonderful opportunity each and every one of us has to get right. Suicide is sad cop out for any sentient being. That said, it is something I recommend for Glenn Beck. Check out this shit; NYT book section

“He’s our Oprah,” said Brad Thor, a writer of political thrillers who has appeared on Mr. Beck’s radio and television programs several times. “God love him, we’re very fortunate.”

The Kack: still breathing.

2009-11-03T18:18:00.002-05:00

It's entirely unsurprising that all the great expectations of getting a good job on the basis of going to a good school have been tempered by the reality that mediocrity begets more of the same frustration. Lately, the only way to get anything done has been to be busy, and to think how to stay that way. It seems, I could be wrong, that being a bum is forgivable if one is industrious in his/her hobo lifestyle; if you need money to eat, and you're a bum, work on a farm.

rabies shot

2009-11-03T07:57:00.002-05:00

According to a girl I would very much like to sleep with, getting a rabies shot is not fun. After touching her pet dog which had come in contact with a rabid raccoon, the latest and greatest masturbatory fodder of my life was coerced in to multiple doctor's visits. The kicker is that it was the local municipality that came to that conclusion, not herself, nor her family. Now, we have the so fucking stupid it's cute moment where Emanuel "Rahm" Ginobli swats a living being in to oblivion in an NBA arena; looks like he needs them shots too.

Where'd all that information come from!? (Addendum to the fucking article below)

2009-11-01T01:39:00.000-04:00

Mustafa Kamal Atatürk

The fact that he was a despot and dictator cannot be denied. It was his cruelty and sadistic treatment of Muslims that makes him stand out as one of the worst enemies of Allah. The above was only what was reported and recorded by mostly Western observers. The extent of what actually went on in the new Turkey by the direct policy of Kamal, was heinous to say the least. He was an enemy of Allah (swt) to the core.

No godly man, Dictator Kemal considers that there is no reason why Turks should not call Allah by his Turkish name Tanri. There is no reason except centuries of tradition, no reason except that Turkish imams (priests) all know the Koran by heart in Arabic while few if any have memorized it in Turkish. Strict to the point of cruelty last week was Dictator Kemal's decree that muezzins, calling the faithful to prayer from the top of Turkey's minarets, must shout not the hallowed "Allah Akbar!" (Arabic for "God is Great!") but the unfamiliar words "Tanri Uludur!" which mean the same thing in Turkish.

Here is a quotation from Joachim Prinz's "The Secret Jews", page 122:

" ...
The revolt of the Young Turks in 1908 against the authoritarian regime of Sultan Abdul Hamid began among the intellectuals of Salonika. It was from there that the demand for a constitutional regime originated. Among the leaders of the revolution which resulted in a more modern government in Turkey were Djavid Bey and Mustafa Kemal. Both were ardent "doenmehs". Djavid Bey became minister of finance; Mustafa Kemal became the leader of the new regime and he adopted the name of "Ataturk". His opponents tried to use his "doenmeh" background to unseat him, but without success. Too many of the Young Turks in the newly formed revolutionary Cabinet prayed to Allah, but had as their real prophet Shabtai Zvi, the Messiah of Smyrna."

KEEPING TRACK: The Burning Bush memory exercise pt. I

2009-11-01T01:10:00.005-04:00

So, don't worry. So I didn't.

Let's play a new game.

George W. Bush in Spanglish-variant twisting words could be strained and reduced in to Jorge Árbusto, in the sense that he's a Texas good 'ol boy in exile up North amongst the worst of the upper-crust filth, he'd be something more coked-out like J.R., frankly he's a junior, he knows it, so, yeah, anyway, J.R. Bustos flows the best in my head. So, perhaps he might say something slightly off-putting about the history of our presence in the middle east, and, the implications for the development of the vague, impersonal doctrine of a free-market, deregulated Democracy in this region: "le doy a nuestra historia para decidir lo que había pasado," in response to the question, "¿Qué piensas, tú, hombre fuera de los 'insiders' en teoría, sobre la legacia tuya sobre las guerras de Afghanistan y Iraq, también la situación de la región sobre el desarrollo de el vago concepto griego (¿Clásico?), Democracía?"

It is clear to me now, that there is a distinct connection between an epic poem and and epithet; each distinct entities offers something to lose, something to gain, rarely, if ever, equally; what are we afraid of, you must ask, to whom do you call a higher power? What is it that's bringing you down, my good friend, amiguito? Is it the fact that nobody can actually make money during the work week anymore? Is that not insane, or at least leading one to believe that there must be a way to stop clinging to the easy habits? Praising god and passing the ammunition, if that's the legacy, one of fire and brimstone for the sinners who pray before and after dinner, maybe we're pushing the wrong kind of separation in our legislative offices. What is the purpose of public policy, when you are trying to cover up your privates?! If we've left the garden, so prove it under the trees covered in leaves in mid-atlantic autumn. If not, then, what's wrong?
1) Snakes, fucking, everywhere.

2) Pirates; namely land-based.

3) Lazy, useless lists.

4) Corporate consumption.

5) Norm Coleman's campaign trying to cockblock Al Franken at the Sadie Hawkin's dance that we call the Senate.

6) Repressive Tolerance in the form of hyperlinking.

7) Worms (Ancient German city-state) is, like, a lot like any number of historical atrocities, the scale of the holocaust moves
the burden of genocide on anyone with a brain or a heart.

8) Learning through trial and error is usurped by the (john) stark(s) fear of dealing with consequences.

9) The flashing lights on screens that are usually being leased, for the express purpose of simulating a form of enjoyment that many refer to as 'the good fucking' or samizdat.

10) Flashing lights in the streets regulating on a seemingly two-dimensional basis, preventive medicine for invisible diseases.

So, here's the first installment of the wise words of one JR Bustos:
J.R. 'Walker' Bustos (Jorge Caminero Árbusto)

Looking back on things, historically speaking of course, you brute, we are a confederation of some sort; I let you fuck me for free cause you fucked my mom and my dad right in front of me you sick fuck, the smell is of death here and sex, fear that maybe the babies won’t live forever in harmony, so there’s no time for discourse on discord on disk to keep something occupied to the point that the grey matter pops like the pimple of some institution’s hairy ass. The consortia, stuffing in the turkey, ‘Atta Türk of Democracy, spread out, available in Tahini-freestyle, in to the sand, just like the wild, thorny bushes of a Texas Ranch: Caldo y Muy Pico. The species, kindmen, knew so little as a whole, often times it seems things don’t translate so well, when dividing all it sees in to a ballot box of a single language, regardless if it is the language of that individual who wishes to express an opinion; the stuffing or is it the shell that one finds most satisfying, do I have to choose? Let history decide if I derided my own kind for being a good old boy. Hmm, is impeaching él, el presidente, is based on prescience or precedence? Dad was a bomber too, I had to defuse all I could before there was another explosion! The boner-killer, mother-lover, divine worshipper, looks like something familiar, something similar to the olde tyme, where there was a sense of personality in the fatal blow struck.

FORTUNE: Barry Gibb is glib this Saddat Tay, we must kill z drumloops, hate hate hate, rest in peace.

HOUSTON?

2009-09-30T15:57:00.004-04:00

You can look at the pile of rubble that was a once promising career and throw your hands up to the cruel maker(s) and cry defeat. The hopes, née expectations, of the most populous country in the world need to be tempered; Yao Ming is not Ghengis Khan. Who the hell is Clement Wood? He wrote a fascinating book called "The Outline of Man's Knowledge" in the Roman Calendar year 1927. Yao will be back, those are a paraphrase of his own Associated Press-translated words. The hype on the Rockets was a tandem superstar bicycle of high-post scoring and slashing; leg injuries are gonna make Yao even more plodding (ugh), while somehow making his feathery jumper even more airy methinks (dude is tall and strong enough to just flick that fucker straight in the basket).Brother Ali is rocking to beats that don't blow me away, but do sound like Tom Scott blowing it out. Tracy Mcgrady is on ESPNCHICAGO (the Bristol-based media conglomerate finds a way to corporatize entire cities on the basis of fandom, no surprise!) talking about time with Tim Grover and staff (I have a feeling that learning about the actual staff that Grover employs would be far more interesting than the man himself, who looks a lot like Tim Legler, or maybe not). After 2 minutes of listening, it seems that Ali wants to crossover like AI, but only Jadakiss can do that!

Yao would probably like the song "Stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues Again"; he could make up a fun mental list of all the fascinating references and find relevance in his own action.

Vulva, the scent is the best thing that ever got blogged on deadspin.

Umm, Detroit is a mess. Charlie Villanueva is a fine Blair academy alum. Jason Maxiell is still awesome.

Whose THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Phoenix Suns

2009-09-29T02:01:00.002-04:00

Yes, it's prisoner christmas for our good friend Jason Richardson, the forgotten former slam-dunk champ Sun who everyone thinks is in his supposed NBA prime (the right combination of physical maturation, explosiveness and metaphysical understanding of the 94 foot NBA game).

Everyone's fucking afraid of this watered down NBA disappointing us all; Steve Nash is old as fuck. Grant Hill drinks sprite?

Oh, shit.

Whose holding it down with Alvin Gentry?

The ever so mysterious John Shumate. No, not Tiger Shulman.
PIC VIA CHECKOUTMYCARDS.COM

Dude played 5 NBA seasons, coached in the WNBA recently and is alumni of South Bend's most famous institution of higher learning.

Rejoice.

WHOSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Orlando Magic

2009-09-16T14:50:00.002-04:00

Runner ups are a funny part of the championship. Many players, in post-playing days, talk of opportunities lost by the tiniest of errors. Quoth Karl Malone, "I just think we want to stay healthy, and I don't think we think about a sense of urgency. We realize how old we are, we realize we've been playing this game for a long time, but you know what? We're not done yet. Everyone else might talk about, "we're done," but we don't believe that. We're just stubborn enough to think that we can continue to play this game at a high level, and that's what we try to do." 10cc recorded this song:

Nothing quite like a boring montage of photos to help you stew in your thoughts.

Rashard Lewis is a PED maven. Stan Van Gundy's Wario comparisons won't end. Marcin Gortat is PAID. JJ Reddick.

The man who does some task relegated from Top on down? Bob Beyer.

Bob Beyer was named assistant coach of the Magic on June 27, 2007. He joins the Magic after spending the past two seasons as an assistant coach at the University of Dayton.
Beyer served an assistant coach with the Toronto Raptors in 2003-04 and was an advance scout during the 2004-05 campaign.

A native of LeRoy, NY, Beyer spent two seasons (2001-03) as an assistant coach at Texas Tech under Bob Knight. Prior to joining the Red Raiders, he was an assistant at Northwestern for three seasons (1997-2000). From 1994-97, Beyer was the head coach at Siena College. He also served as an assistant coach at Wisconsin (1993-94), Siena (1989-93) and Albany (1985-89).

Born on December 10, 1961, Beyer earned his bachelor of arts in history from Alfred State College in 1984. He also carried minors in coaching, writing and secondary education. While coaching at the University at Albany, he received a master's degree in curriculum planning and development.

whoSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: San Antonio Spurs

2009-09-08T13:38:00.003-04:00

RC Buford is a mysterious figure.

I have always felt that it was really horrible what happened when the worst of people led the U.S. Govt. to violently support the annexation of northeastern Mexico known then and now as Texas. We openly laud the heroics of Davy Crockett and his ilk down at the Alamo for giving their life for 'country' and all that good stuff, yet I can't help but think another bunch of men died in vain to advance to the cause of those who were pulling their strings all along. This paranoia could easily result in some kind of long-winded conclusion about the diluted and vapid nature of our existence in this day and age, and how similar this is to just about any other time in history (pre-history too for that matter); Pynchon appears to have taken this question to heights previously unseen, vertiginous in their distance in his magnum opus "Gravity's Rainbow". What white settler would have named a town, "San Antonio"? Saint Anthony: Anthony of Padua has been called the most celebrated of the followers of Saint Francis of Assisi. He is the patron saint of Padua and of Portugal, and is especially invoked for the recovery of lost things. For all the fire of the Baptists, Evangelicals and other mega-church groups west of the panhandle, they seem like a pretty godless bunch in comparison to St. Antonio. Just like in Spain, where ancient civilizations tried and tried to leave their mark, only to be preserved somewhere like compounded slush in the Chicago winter; The Vandal's "Vandalusia" has, over time, come to be known as "Andalucía", for example. This is how we have places like "Amarillo" (pronounced Am-uh-rill-Oh) Texas (aka Yellow) and Versailles, Ohio in this chicken pluckin' ridiculous howlin-fantod of a country we got here. Saint Anthony was too sickly in appearance to be accepted in to many of the early monasteries he encountered on his pilgrimage from Portugal to Padua; of course Saint Francis was beneficent and kind enough to take him in. I still support a Mexican annexation of all SouthWest US territories; even if NAFTA isn't exactly a piñata that Rob Schneider wacks with his wiffle ball bat.

Whispering Pines info

Chad Forcier, not a half-asian:

Joined the Spurs in the summer of 2007 … a 1995 graduate of Seattle Pacific University … started his coaching career while in college, joining the Seattle SuperSonics as an intern in 1992 … spent five seasons with the Sonics, working for head coach George Karl … from 1994–97 served as an assistant coach at Lake Washington High School in Kirkland, Washington … in 1997 was named an assistant coach at Oregon State University … spent three seasons at OSU before moving to the University of Portland for the 2000–01 season … in the summer of 2001 joined Rick Carlisle’s staff with the Detroit Pistons … after two seasons with the Pistons joined the Indiana Pacers in the summer of 2003 … spent four seasons as an assistant coach with the Pacers … his brother, Todd, is the strength and conditioning coach for the University of Kentucky men’s basketball team and his sister, Jade Hayes, is the girl’s basketball coach at Bellevue Christian High School in Bellevue, Washington.

whoSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Houston Rockets

2009-09-07T13:51:00.002-04:00

YAO!

It's not a good time to be alive if you're pining for a time when it seemed like less effort was to be rewarded with more than satisfactory financial compensation. It never should be, really. The light rain on labor day leads me to these thoughts. Paid vacation is a horrible concept; part of overcoming the fear of having done nothing with your life is realizing how hard you have to work to try and make memories; that european vacation/teaching english in Spain, the student loans that are in forbearance, the unfinished, unabridged War and Peace lying in a duffle bag.

What is good? William T. Vollmann is making ask more questions; every time you seem to reach a conclusion about some kind of morality (power, he posits, is amoral), you realize that your foundation still has lingering doubts; you build a home with the finest italian marble, perfectly aged oak 2X4's, neither of which stop the bomb from burning you and all your possessions in to oblivion. But seriously, what is good?! Fucking, eating and communication; how much can you really ask for?

Does anyone have a copy of the Broom of the System, that shit sounds interesting?

Oh shit, Darryl Morey is a celebrity GM! I blame Bill Simmons. I also blame Princeton, Harvard, Yale, and especially William and Mary.

SON OF ADELMAN reigns supreme, like nachos, on the bench.

Get to know RJ:

R.J. Adelman enters his first season as an assistant coach for the Rockets. In addition to his coaching duties, Adelman’s focus will be on the team’s advance scouting operations.

Before coming to Houston, Adelman worked as an NBA advance scout for the Seattle SuperSonics. He also served five years as a scout for the Sacramento Kings, including the final three seasons as assistant video coordinator in the Basketball Operations Department.

He joined Maloof Sports and Entertainment after practicing law in Portland, Oregon, working in private practice and as a real estate lawyer for GMAC Mortgage.

Adelman was a four-year letterman in basketball at Willamette University in Salem, Oregon, which won the NAIA Division II National Championship in 1993. After completing his bachelor’s degree in political science from Willamette in 1995, Adelman earned his law degree from the University of Oregon in 2001.

BOOOORING.

whoSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Toronto Raptors

2009-09-06T17:05:00.003-04:00

The dragon swallowing its own tail is the story of our earth; the spheroid's ability to maintain its existence by sustaining on itself. Most human beings have a tough time seeing how their existence need be any different than that of the planet's; how can global warming be real if I can't afford groceries and health care in the same month?

Read about the ouroboros here.

So, what does any of this have to do with Canada? Well, dinosaurs might be a good place to start; we would like to believe that massive reptilian creatures roamed the earth for millions of years until a specific event brought about their extinction. The Raptors were the brain child of David Stern's then burgeoning expansion plan (monroe doctrine) for the National Basketball Association to do a better job than the MLB in Montreal. After the Vince Carter administration came to a close, things were looking rough, rough, rough for the fellows in purple and white up there in the concavity. Bring in a Colangelo and all of the sudden it's 2009-2010 and their roster looks great on paper. I'm pretty sure their head coach used to be in porn (update: that would be TT Boy, not Jay Triano).

They got rid of Delfino (no discount at the argentine steakhouse), acquired Jarret Jack (who probably enjoys the Bukowski poem, "Dinosauria, We" as much as any other DOOM fan) and paid out the ass for Hedo Turkoglu.

Who's helping them break .500?

Alvin Williams! Great scott!

Most important fact: Trevor Ariza and Amir Johnson went to HS together!

WhoSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Dallas Mavericks

2009-09-04T17:12:00.003-04:00

Cuban Linx II!
Mark Cuban at Cubs games! (in the bleacher seats)
James Singleton stringing the franchise along!

None of these things really matter for a team that looks good on paper, if it was only 2004...

Who's helping Rick Carlisle guide the way to the promised land of a second-round playoff exit? Ringo Starr? His son, Zach Starkey? Jeff Lynne? Tom Petty?

Nah, it's Tom Sterner what a fucking head of hair.

jai alais:
The bulk of Sterner’s coaching experience came with the Magic where he worked as an assistant coach for 11 seasons (1994-2002, 2005-07). He originally joined the organization as video scout in 1989.

Sterner helped the Magic reach the playoffs five times, including its run to the 1995 NBA Finals, and served as an assistant coach for the Eastern Conference during the 1995 NBA All-Star Game (Phoenix).

Sterner served as the top assistant coach for the Warriors from 2002-04. In 2002-03, he led the team’s offense. The Warriors ranked second in the league in scoring that season, averaging 102.4 points per game. Changing his focus to defense in 2003-04, Sterner watched Golden State become the NBA’s most improved defensive squad, allowing 9.6 fewer points per game than the previous season.

From 1994-2004, Sterner served as chairman of the NBA Technology and Scouting Committee and was instrumental in the development of the Coaches’ Tools software currently used by NBA teams for scouting purposes. He has consulted with companies such as IBM, IDS, Avid Technologies and XOS Technologies.

Sterner served as assistant coach at Franklin & Marshall College in Lancaster, Pa. (1987-90). While at F&M, the Diplomats achieved a 76-12 record, won three straight Middle Atlantic Coast Conference Championships, made three NCAA postseason tournament appearances and had the distinction of being the No. 1 Division III team in the nation as voted by the Associated Press.

Prior to F&M, Sterner spent six years as head coach at Lancaster (Pa.) Catholic High School, where his team participated in several district and state competitions.

Born on Nov. 17, 1956, Sterner earned his undergraduate degree in elementary education from Millersville (Pa.) State College and his master’s degree in sports administration and computers from Temple University. He and his wife, Marcia, have two daughters, Malorie and Paige.

FASCINATING!

video playlist:

WhoSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Atlanta Hawks

2009-09-03T10:22:00.002-04:00

Atlantis!

Jason Collins is officially signed, this means his reign of terror amongst NJ/NY metropolitan area nets fans can finally be deemed over. Marvin Williams is still overrated. Whose helping Mike Woodson make it happen?

AAAAHHHH!!! Zombies!!! What? Oh, it's just Tyrone Hill!

Highlights (for the undead):

Hill played four years collegiately at Xavier University, where he averaged 20.2 ppg and 12.6 rpg (.581 FG%) as a senior in 1990.

whoSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Cleveland Cavaliers

2009-09-02T15:05:00.002-04:00

It's a big year in Cuyahoga County, I won't get in to the details, because previews are for fuckfaced fleabags. Without Sasha Pavlovic, Wally Szczerbiak nor Tarence Kinsey, I just don't care about the Cavs this year. Lebron's stupid fucking puff piece movie with some mediocre/over the hill rappers chiming in further cements the point to me that I'd rather learn more about people who have to struggle with deeper things than living difficult lives as youths.

MICHAEL MALONE!

highlights (for the children):

Michael Malone is beginning his first season as an assistant coach for the Cleveland Cavaliers. He joins the Cavaliers having spent the past four seasons with the New York Knicks.

For the past two seasons, Malone was an assistant coach with the Knicks after he was promoted into that position in May 2003. In his first two seasons in New York, Malone was the Knicks’ coaching associate. He coached the Knicks’ summer league teams for three seasons while in New York and for the last two summers was one of six NBA coaches to participate in the NBA Pre-Draft camp in Chicago. He originally joined the Knicks as a coaching associate in the summer of 2001.

WhoSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Indiana Pacers

2009-09-01T10:42:00.002-04:00

The Frying Dutchman is a fictional establishment run by the Captain in the Simpsons, the neon sign would be enough to win most people over, but the buffet spread inside takes the whole thing from ashy to classy faster than a quiet storm of shea's butter. The Dunking Dutchman, Rik Smits, was one of the better Centers in the Eastern Conference on a number of consistently competitive Pacer squads full of players you don't remember outside of Spike Lee muse/horrible cuckold-creating TNT NBA commentator Reggie Miller. The closest thing the current squad has to Marist college's finest these days is Roy Hibbert; the 7-2 big man whose presence is so plodding that I actually thought he'd been in the league for three years. This is supposedly ironic, because this season under the helm of Larry Bird/Jim O'Brien we get to witness the Arnold Palmer (1/2 & 1/2) of nba rosters.

Tyler Hansbrough, Travis Diener, Troy Murphy, Josh McRoberts, Mike Dunleavy AND Jeff Foster are all white, at least two of these clowns will be starters (Pacer fans might note that Murphy is kind of a double-double machine, and that Hansbrough will somehow transcend his impressive college days by refining the seemingly non-existant skill set that he put on display for 4 years at UNC) Down at the Eastern Shore of Maryland, I came across a gas station/beer markt called Dr. Unk; people these days...

I guess I could talk about the rest of the squad; Brandon Rush (why does he look so different than older brother Kareem?), the aforementioned Hibbert, All-Star Danny Granger (who apparently, recently learned to dribble with his head up!), and all the others, but let's get down to the nitty-gritty here.

JAY DEFRUSCIO, come on down.

IT STINKS ('94 real shit y'all)

highlights (for kids):

The 46-year-old (11/4/60) DeFruscio is a native of Drexel Hill, Pa., and earned a degree in Economics from Ursinus College. He was a four-year letter winner at Ursinus while playing in the Division III Final Four in 1981 and Elite Eight in 1982. He is a member of the Ursinus College Athletic Hall of Fame.

He has a son named Hooter, yikes.

WhoSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Milwaukee Bucks

2009-08-31T19:16:00.002-04:00

The Good Land.

Wisconsin.

Ensconced in a world of fatty corpuscles.

Adrian Griffin retired from the court, but the gravity of his situation prevents him from leaving the bench, where you could most easily find him over these last 12 years or so. When one thinks of Seton Hall and the last name Griffin, it would be easy to think of the late great Eddie. Worry not, as Scott Skiles has brought on the decent-career defender to shore up a roster that saw some decent overhauling by moving Ricardo Jefferson's contract. Ramon Sessions' summer time show has been brutally boring. Andrew Bogut may have a career year. Brandon Jennings is the subject of far too much speculation; let the kids play. Charlie Villanueva and his alopecia have run off to the home of house music. Charlie Bell is still around. Michael Redd ought to feel damn disrespected by how everyone in the known baskebtallblogouniverse openly decries his expendability as a max-contract type of guy.

The singer not the song.

Fuck Alice Cooper.

WhoSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Los Angeles Clippers

2009-08-28T13:01:00.002-04:00

Clipper (Pronounced with an emphasis on the 'e', like you're puertoriqueño) is either a useful, but aggravating brand of lighters, a small ship, or Baron Davis/Eric Gordon's lovechild, also known as Gary Shandling:

Jeffrey Tambour, whooowhoooo. So, los clipper, have some things going on, on paper; namely Chris Kaman and Marcus Camby. I do my best to not discuss U of Oklahoma alumni outside of the Biggest Mexican, my hero, Eduardo Najera (self-imposed idiocy aside, Blake Griffin is not that good, rather, college basketball is pretty piss-poor in comparison to the level of competition the Western Conference's Pacific Division has to offer). We all know quite well how Mike Dunleavy pisses off the season-ticket holders, even if said ticket holders are kind of douches about it. Who else is out there, exile in the Staples Center?

You guessed it; FRED VINSON; aka sweaty freddy (I just made that up)

Lamond Murray sighting!

Highlights (for kids):
Rounding out the coaching staff is Fred Vinson, who begins his first season as an assistant coach on Dunleavy’s staff. Vinson’s primary responsibility in his additional role as Director of Player Programs will be to serve as a mentor to the Clippers’ younger players and to ease their transition to life in the NBA. Vinson served as a player development consultant for the Clippers during the 2007-08 season.
On the court, Vinson played parts of the 1994-95 and 1999-00 season with the Atlanta Hawks and Seattle Supersonics, tallying career averages of 1.3 points and 5.2 minutes per game. Vinson also averaged 3.3 points per game for the Clippers during the 2005-06 NBA preseason. A 6’4” guard out of Georgia Tech, Vinson also helped win the 2002-03 CBA Championship as a member of current LMU and former Portland Trailblazer coach Bill Bayno’s Yakima Sun Kings. Vinson also gained experience abroad, playing professionally with SLUC Nancy in Nancy, France during the 2003-04 season.

WHOSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Golden State Warriors

2009-08-27T14:34:00.004-04:00

Don Nelson:Sidney Moncrief::David Berri:Bethlehem Shoals?

The Warriors are loved; they are the baby of the family. Has there ever been so many light-skinned black men on a single NBA team? How better could a group of guys fit the need for a place like the 'yay' area? Stephen Curry's pre-draft D'antoni pandering aside, there's so many different reasons to get excited for this group of individuals.

How about Andres Biedrins? What about Stephen Jackson's recently exhumed corpse? How about a team that helps keep people from a San Jose news-outlet employed in times like these? Most importantly, who's at the end of their bench?

Larry Harris? That's right, former Bucks GM himself; read more here.

STEPHEN & LARRY sons of Del'sl; FASCINATING!

Who's the last guy on the end of your bench?: Detroit Pistons

2009-08-25T02:50:00.003-04:00

Don't you dare.

When you're talking about the professor's hometown in your college class, you better not say something bad about it, lest your classmates let you have it. I made this mistake once when saying Detroit was not as desirable as, perhaps, Malibu Beach in Los Angeles might be to live in; I've been to NEITHER of those places, it was an error of both omission and comission to be talking about things that I had no grasp of outside of ideas that other people's experiences formed.

Chris Webber was a hot mess in the NBA; he had an ill-fated, poor fit run with the Pistons where he probably had to relive that national championship phantom-time-out again and again; U of M fans in AA are just constantly disappointed by their also-ran status most of the time (College Football's Ohio State-Michigan rivalry is pretty fucking annoying for people in said states that don't want to swim in a sea of red, black, blue and gold all day everyday). Anyone with a heart cheered their asses off for the Kings of the early 2000's; there was a kind of grace to the game that was played by a squad where Webber was considered the epicenter of the offense. That Philly trade, several mediocre big men in the form of a, then, expendable Corliss Williamson (a force to be reckoned with in College Basketball, 6th man of the year in DETROIT of all places), Kenny Thomas (the pride of New Mexico until Danny Granger began blossoming) and ~~Tyrone Hill's rotting corpse~~ Correction:Brian Skinner (The cowardly lion of this crew of fantasy cum dumpster power forwards/centers); also included in the deal were a then underdeveloped Matt Barnes (Fresh out of UCLA where he was nice alongside Steve Lavin, Jason Kapono and probably Dan Gadzuric) and MICHAEL BRADLEY?!?!?!?!

So, DOMINICANO (pronounced loudly) Charles Villanueva and Ben Gordon have signed some nice contracts. Austin Daye gets no love from anyone; he's not Adam Morrison, who crazed white men loved openly in the media.

Remember that time Tracy Mcgrady guaranteed a win in what looked like, looking back on it, his best chance at exiting the first round of playoffs a winner? That was against a Detroit squad who was the #1 seed, the Magic were a lowly 8th, but up 3-1, before succumbing to the Eastern Conference Finals mainstay squad with Ben Wallace playing defense in a way that made for silly video game abilities (more, later, on how video games might be perpetuating this culture of righteous individualism, and how this is almost worse than the commodification of all things, namely the belief in the self). Head Coach of that Orlando Squad; not Brian Hill, that's right it was a not quite ready for primetime ubuntu Doc Rivers, looking forever youuuuuuung. Back to Brian Hill, he's the last guy at the end of the bench for first time head coach John Kuester, who is, in fact, dead; correction: John Hughes is dead.

His Picture
Useless article that actually talks about Brian Hill

HIghlights:
Hill’s coaching career includes high school as well as 17 years at the collegiate level. He was the head coach at Lehigh for eight seasons and held assistant coaching positions at Montclair State, Lehigh and Penn State. He got his NBA coaching start in 1986, serving as an assistant to Mike Fratello with the Atlanta Hawks.

“We are pleased to welcome Brian Hill as an assistant coach for the Detroit Pistons,” said Dumars. “Brian has vast NBA experience as both a head coach and assistant coach and he will help our coaching staff and players in a variety of ways.”

Joe Dumars is fat. Isiah Thomas is employed anew.

Fuck Detroit.

Horace Silver

2009-08-18T11:27:00.002-04:00

Horace Silver is a motherfucker! Seriously the guy is unstoppable. The Bop was hard; Searching for the 27th man;

Buddy Guy (Hoochie Coochie Man) [RJD2 uses a version of the song, not this singer's version, in "Good Times Roll Pt. II"]

Assholes

2009-08-17T18:54:00.001-04:00

Enough! ENOUGH! too much time wasting.

Bill Cosby doesn't thrill me all the time, but he's only a man. He has been prolific, yes, he has. Listen to a recording credited to him and his band;
Bass - Darryl Clayborn* , Monk Montgomery , Ron Johnson (4)
Congas - Big Black (2)
Drums - Stix Hooper* , Jimmy Smith (3) , Ndugu* , Paul Humphrey
Guitar - Arthur Adams , David Sprattling , Freddie Robinson , Mel Brown
Organ - Stu Gardner
Piano - Gildo Mahones , Walter Bishop*
Saxophone - Bobby Jones (2) , Joe Henderson , Rudy Johnson (2)
Timbales - Willie Bobo
Trombone - George Bohanon
Written-By, Producer - Bill Cosby

AQUÍ BB

Who's the last guy on the end of your bench?: Denver Nuggets

2009-08-14T18:03:00.004-04:00

TIM GRGURICH, fucking cool name. What's his deal? More importantly, what are the Nuggos gonna be doing in a post-Kleiza world where some other son of a gun comes in and takes some ill advised shots while occasionally going off for 40 points? You certainly don't expect such future fireworks from one Anthony Carter. The ghost of Eduardo Najara lingers, actually that's the scent of his man musk (Blake Griffin's ridiculous couple of seasons at Oklahoma were fueled by that untraceable testosterone boost known as Najara). MASON AND DIXON by Thomas Pynchon is really so excellent; if Carmelo and Billups can keep building on their unlikely adventure through this NBA age of reason, they might just have an 800+ page period piece of a season on their hands.

Can't embed every video I wanna watch here on the blog; WILLIAM RYBAK this is for you!THE LIFE

highlights:

The Trail Blazers also won a division crown with Grgurich on staff in ’98-99 and reached the Western Conference Finals twice.

Grgurich spent 12 years as an assistant coach under Jerry Tarkanian at the University of Nevada-Las Vegas, preparing emerging NBA standouts such as Larry Johnson, Stacey Augmon, Greg Anthony, Armen Gilliam and Sidney Green. The Runnin’ Rebels won the 1990 NCAA Championship and made three Final Four appearances while he was part of the program.

who's the last guy on the end of your bench?: Washington Wizards

2009-08-13T20:05:00.004-04:00

ZIF is putting up great posts. FRACTALS, our first demo is ready for public consumption.

FRACTALS (EPONYMOUS)

Wes Unseld's seed! making moves, not unlike the boys in the band in Wicomico County, Maryland. Gilbert Arenas is supposedly back and better than ever; I guarantee the WIZ make the playoffs, I also make a promise to attend at least one NBA game this season (here's hoping I get a glimpse of Dirk against Darko)

Highlights:
In his tenth year as a member of the Wizards organization, Wes Unseld Jr. is in his second season as Assistant Coach.
Just four days after his graduation from The Johns Hopkins University in 1997, Unseld began his career in scouting, with both professional and collegiate responsibilities to the Wizards organization. Promoted to advance scout in his first season, the thirty-one-year-old Unseld has reached a decade of service in Washington.
In addition to his nine-year tenure as Advance Pro Scout for the Wizards, Unseld also spent three seasons as an advance scout for the WNBA’s Washington Mystics (1998-2000). In 1998, he spent part of the season serving as Assistant Coach for the Mystics.

Who's the last guy on the end of your bench?: Miami Heat

2009-07-27T23:58:00.003-04:00

Oh shit! The Future Folk Fest was a resounding success. Things are starting to really take shape and form. I gained the greatest backwards asset that I'd never think I'd stumble across in a thousand years; beautiful.

So, Dwayne Wade is making open overtures to get Lamar Odom back in a Heat uniform. Did you know LO has his own record label?

Anyhoo, someone's gotta be workin' with the youngin's down in South Florida; I imagine someone has to play "bag-o gnome" and steal the stash that Beasley and Chalmers try to sneak on to buses. So, get to know David Fizdale!

highlights:
He began his professional career assisting in the HEAT’s video room during the 1997-98 season. Among his responsibilities in his new role, Fizdale will be assisting in the areas of player development, scouting, game preparation and other duties assigned by Head Coach Erik Spolestra.

A Los Angeles native, Fizdale earned a bachelor’s degree in communications and a minor in sociology from San Diego in 1996. He is single and currently resides in Miami.

Friendship

2009-07-24T01:37:00.002-04:00

Oh shit, Max is in the news up in Block Island.

I started writing for a nice blog based out of LA; Zebraisfood. There is so much to explore on the website, it feels good to be part of something that feels headed in the right direction.

Who's the last guy on the end of your bench?: Los Angeles Lakers

2009-07-22T10:42:00.002-04:00

OK!

BAck in the States! Great!

What to do? Fractals based organization techniques abound!

How about the NBA champion LA Lakers? Whose holding it down on that bench, toiling in obscurity to get things done?

FRANK HAMBLEN! His Nba.com profile is intriguingly threadbare (aka blank). Here's some facts from the ol' Wikipedia;

Frank Hamblen is a National Basketball Association (NBA) coach and scout, and a former college basketball player at Syracuse University. He has served as an interim head coach for two different teams; for the Milwaukee Bucks in 1992 and the Los Angeles Lakers in 2005. He also has served as an assistant coach on numerous successful NBA teams and currently is an assistant coach for the Lakers.

Fun.

Who's the last guy on the end of your bench?: Boston Celtics

2009-07-13T08:02:00.003-04:00

According to a highly reliable source, Newbury St. in Boston, Mass. is full of asshole tourists.

Tom Thibodeau, is not an asshole.

Generally regarded as the best mind in the nba to never have become a full-fledged head coach, Thibodeau lied in relative obscurity despite his teams always performing incredibly well on the defensive end. His name comes up on the endless coaching carousel of la liga whenever a vacancy arises, he's always a finalist, but never gets the job. This reminds me of my own intramural basketball career; fucking pathetic.

anyways, he's not really photogenic.

Ubuntu? Desmobd Tutu? Vicar in a Tutu? Two plus Two = Two plus Two.

Who's the last guy on the end of your bench?: OKLAHOMA CITY THUNDER!!!!!

2009-07-13T07:55:00.004-04:00

Welcome to Thunderdome; why an oral-sex-centric documentary was never produced concerning such a thing confounds me to no end.

One time I made up a rumor that an extremely physically imposing woman's tennis player at Oberlin gave a rim job to a relief pitcher on the baseball team and in exultation he screamed, "CHOCOLATE THUNDER"; it became a rallying cry of sorts for about 10 days between myself and maybe two other people. Also, Jaeger Bombs.

What about the OKC Thunda?!?!?! They didn't get that top pick in the draft; oh, the highly coveted athletic power forward who can shoot 15 footers...instead they got James Harden, who threw down a tremendous in game dunk in the summer league the other day that had me screaming Chocolate Thunder all over again.

So, who's the last dingleberry on the ass hairs of the nba? GIVE IT UP FOR RON ADAMS! ( I too was surprised that the answer was not Robert Swift, WHITE PEOPLE!)

Highlights:
began his coaching career as an assistant coach at his alma mater, Fresno Pacific University in 1969 and was promoted to head coach in 1972 … Adams also had assistant coaching stints at U.S. International, University of Cal-Santa Barbara, Fresno State University and University of Nevada-Las Vegas … was head coach at Fresno State during a second tour of duty from 1986-90 … has coached professional basketball in Belgium, consulted and coached with the Canadian National basketball program, two Japanese professional basketball clubs and the Belgian Basketball Federation … graduated with a degree in History and Political Science from Fresno Pacific University in 1969 and received a master’s degree in Physical Education from Fresno State in 1974 …

KRIS KRISTOFFERSON

2009-07-13T06:06:00.001-04:00

I neeeeed one.

2009-07-13T05:02:00.001-04:00

Who's the last guy on the end of your bench?: Portland Trailblazers

2009-07-12T17:58:00.003-04:00

Anyone who reads this blog (Taka, Sam, Max, Avis, Sweet P [fair, unbiased coverage, even for my republican countrymen; this is what it's all about, I'll even link his blog right here!] and that's probably it, unless Harry Hirsch likes the NBA more than he led on, knows that Benicio Del Toro wore a Blazers shirt on the Colbert Report a little while back; I wrote Henry Abbot of TrueHoop an email about it, even seeing it a day late he didn't put it up until the day after receiving my email, but I got 0 love on the post, which led me to believe that I am not a unique butterfly/gumshoe/shoegazer/cumdumpster. I am another spoiled, northeastern, liberal fucking around on the internet, trying to figure out why my brain was wired to type the words as they appear on the screen. Having no experience in programming, only minimal html code that I've actually learned only recently, I'm wondering why things gotta be the way they are, but it requires an understanding of the intuitive logic that goes in to programming. I'm gonna leave further commentary on that to Nick Knight and his soon to be, eventually that is, PHD from Berkeley for Comp. Sci.

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Benicio Del Toro

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

Jeff Goldblum

HEY! I'm not the only one making mistakes/baring my soul in such indignant fashion. Wha' happened to this bio on NBA.com describing current Blazer assistant coach Joe Prunty; maybe the worst basketball name I've ever read out loud to a German person.

Jai alai (t) s [all non-blazer facts]:

He joined the Spurs in the summer of 1996 as assistant video coordinator. He was named an assistant coach at the University of San Diego in April of 1997. Prior to the start of the 1997-98 season, he returned to San Antonio as the Spurs video coordinator and was promoted to assistant coach/video coordinator during the summer of 2000.

Then in 2002-03, he was promoted to advance scout/assistant coach. For the last two summers, he has coached the Mavericks Summer League team (at the Rocky Mountain Revue in Salt Lake City in 2006 and the Vegas Summer League in Las Vegas in 2005).

In the six summers prior, he served as either a head coach or an assistant coach for the Spurs summer league squads in Boston and Salt Lake City. He has also worked a wide variety of summer camps including ABCD camp, Superstars, Pepperdine University and University of San Diego.

Panty Liners!

Who's the last guy on the end of your bench?: New York Knicks

2009-07-12T17:45:00.004-04:00

CHRIS BROUSSARD; you have a face for the internet age! OBERLIN ALUMS IN ACTION! (inaction?) Where's George Smith at?

What does this have to do with the NY KNicks? Well, for one thing, señor Broussard (whose picture up in the main stacks part of WOBC is fucking hilarious) sez that David Lee is not gonna get a contract offer from anyone, but the Knickerbockers. Same goes for WORLD CHAMPEEEN Lamar 'Lazarus' Odom with his LA County Lakers.

The knicks are gonna run again; they play for Mike D'Antoni, it's a given. Poor Chris Duhon's back couldn't handle it; Y'all questioning Steve Nash's durability again? I'm so fucking sick and tired of reading about these asterisk the mvp seasons of Nash over stat inflation. They will be cited as evidence towards a trend that was ushered in by some pretty incredible PG's; Nash's ascendance coincided the rise of young Chris Paul from cockknocker (Was Julius Hodge ever the same after that? Oh wait, maybe getting shot in his car was a bit more traumatic on his 'road to hope') to knockin at the gates.

Did you know Mike D'Antoni has a brother named Dan? Dan D'Antoni, ugh, well if y'all were hip to Jack Macculum's brilliant little log of what came to pass for the suns back in the dawn of the SSOL era, you'd know that D'an (easier shorthand, I'm sick of writing this last name; is it ironic that it took more effort to type the explanation? I HATE irony.) speaks Portugese, which was incredibly helpful in coddling (developing), mercurial guard ~~Diana Taurasi~~ Leandro Barbosa. What does that mean for the Madison Square Garden Dolanite Dolemites who run and gun and stun but never do quite enough to beat out Bosh and his dinosaurs (that goes double for Hedo) for Atlantic Division also-ran status.

SO GET TO KNOW D'AN!

Highlights:

Prior to joining the Suns in 2005, D’Antoni accumulated over 500 wins as head coach of Socastee HS in Myrtle Beach, SC, a position he had held for three decades beginning in 1975. Dan is also the founder of the Beach Ball Classic, the prestigious South Carolina high school Christmas basketball tournament that has showcased the likes of Kevin Garnett, Kobe Bryant, Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, Grant Hill, Rasheed Wallace and Raymond Felton. The Classic - which began as an eight-team affair in 1981 - has evolved into a 16-team national competition, with a women’s tournament added in 1998.

Word has it a young Jason Kidd could actually dunk!

RICHARD MANUEL

2009-07-12T17:32:00.002-04:00

Yes, I have heroes. No, I don't think covering David Bowie is part of that solution; Is TV on the Radio the next Wallflowers?

At least it's for a good cause; if you believe in good causes to give money for.

I had always assumed vocalist/pianist/drummer/all-around good dude Richard Manuel had died from his liver exploding; rumors abounded that leading up to this death he'd developed the habit of drinking 6 bottles of Gran Marnier a day. For anyone who's never tasted that syrupy orange devil, go get a pricey glass of that shit at your favorite dive and pour one down the gullet for an all-time great.

UPDATE: WHAT THE FUCK? It all makes sense now.

CLEVER ADVERTISING IS KING!

So, let's find out what the fuck happened (of course we consult the original patty melt, allmusic.com, for answers)

In a group remembered for their vocal talent, the late Richard Manuel was often seen as the lead singer. His is the first voice you hear on the Band's legendary debut album, Music From Big Pink, a rich baritone so soulful and charged with pathos it's hard to believe it could come from the frail Canadian. His is also the last voice heard on that album, a lonesome, quavering falsetto on Bob Dylan's "I Shall Be Released" that raises the hair on the back of the listener's neck. Sadly, Manuel hanged himself in a motel room in Florida on March 4, 1986.

Manuel, the son of a Stratford, Ontario, mechanic, developed his vocal ability as a youth in the Baptist church choir. He grew up listening to country music, eventually discovering R&B, which would become a huge influence. (His voice would garner frequent comparisons to Ray Charles.) Manuel was the fourth future member of the Band to join the Hawks. In 1961, Levon Helm was the drummer for the Hawks and Robbie Robertson was on bass. Soon, however, Robertson took over as lead guitarist and Rick Danko was added as the new bass player. When Stan Szelest left the group that year, Richard Manuel was brought in as the piano player.

Throughout the legendary career of the Band, Manuel was troubled by drug and alcohol problems. It was only a few years after the Band had reunited in the '80s (without Robertson) -- and during an endless tour of much smaller clubs than the group was accustomed to -- that Manuel committed suicide. No other singer in the group was as admired, however. Even musical giants such as Eric Clapton (who has made no secret of his fascination with Manuel) were in awe of his vocal ability. Clapton would go on to record a tribute to Manuel, "Holy Mother," on his 1986 album August. Ex-bandmate Robbie Robertson would also eulogize Manuel on his 1987 solo debut with "Fallen Angel." Richard Manuel's grave is at the Avondale cemetery in Stratford, Ontario.

Yes, this worries me that he's a hero of mine.

the drug war

2009-07-12T06:48:00.001-04:00

Mexico is raw as fuck.

War on Drugs? Whose drawing up these battle lines? One of the most interesting things to me so far about Leo Tolstóy's WAR AND PEACE is his usage of maps; something that Jorge Luis Borges, Thomas Pynchon and other names that I drop as to raise your opinion of my literary savvy, have touched upon.

ROCKWELL

2009-07-11T15:42:00.001-04:00

WHOSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Utah JAzz

2009-07-11T11:22:00.003-04:00

I am worried about this. Am I like the crowd at a David Cross show in Little Rock, AK? I hope not, who knows though, I do have this ogreish tendency when the music's off and the lighting's bad and the beer's shitty, and bottled.

There is a trade going on?!?!?! No speculation.

What about a guy whose name is Scott Layden. Sound familiar!?!? A high-character guy on a winning team somewhere, sometime probably 1980's heyday greatness, what is it?!?!? Oh that's right, wrong. He was this guy: Prior to working with NBA TV, Layden spent four and a half years as President and General Manager of the Knicks. During his tenure the Knicks made the playoffs twice, advancing to the Eastern Conference Finals in 2000. Prior to his stint with the Knicks, Layden spent 18 years with the Jazz, establishing a reputation as one of the game's most astute judges of talent and an instrumental figure in the Jazz' perennial success.

NOTED ALUMNI OF ST. FRANCIS (PA) include CHarles Schwab (is he the fat guy with the beard who has the most labyrinth-laden sports guessing game on tv? Wait, no that's Howie..., Kevin Porter the Craig Ehlo circa 1988 of record number of assists in one game that Scott Skiles stakes his claim to fame on (he's an OIL MAN I TELL YOU!)

DAMN, some website called the sports hernia did this intriguing photoshop job.

Imipolex Aesthetic

2009-07-11T11:18:00.000-04:00

WHOSE THE LAST GUY ON the End of Your Bench?: Chicago Bulls

2009-07-11T11:12:00.003-04:00

AMERICA! SAUSAGE! POLISH SAUSAGE! BEER!

Pause for indigestion related burping. Tap three times on the clavicle bone, feel the heat of 10,000 EBOLA PIGS.

So, what about the Toros, I mean Bulls, fuck this transition back to MErica; I gots to stick to the Spangleesh for a little while, eso es lo qué es.

SO lookout for MIKE WILHELM!!!!!!!!

prior to joining the Bulls, Mike spent the 2001-02 season as an advance scout for the Denver Nuggets … first entered the NBA with the Cleveland Cavaliers during the 1993-94 season as the team’s assistant video coordinator … Wilhelm became the head video coordinator in 1996, a position he held until 1999 when he became the team’s advance scout … also served as assistant coach for the WNBA’s Cleveland Rockers from 1997 through the 1999 season, winning the Eastern Conference Championship with the Rockers in 1998 … coaching career began in Sweden’s professional league, where he directed the Sundsvall Dragons for two seasons from 1990-92 … enjoys conducting basketball and coaches clinics in Scandinavia during the off season … worked the NBA’s Basketball Without Borders in China in 2006 …

BOLD, COMPELLING. HEAD VIDEO COORDINATOR

Neoclassical fascism

2009-07-11T11:07:00.004-04:00

THIS IS A GREAT IDEA FOR A BLOG: 100 ARTISTS YOUR SHOULD KNOW; TASTEMAKERS ROASTED CHOICE BLEND.

Jacques-Louis David was the greatest representative of the Neo-Classical style. After the French Revolution seized control of France from the aristocrats, dainty, Frivolous Rococo gave way to a new austere Republican style. David was active in the French Revolution and a supporter of Napoleon. Determined to portray his political beliefs in art, David painted in an "Empire style." David's most famous painting, The Death of Marat, was called the Pieta of the Revolution, after images of the dead Jesus. The revolutionary Marat was killed in the bathtub by an assailant who gained entry to his house with a purported list of enemies of the Republic.

DEATH OF MARAT! THE GREAT MARTYR OF THE REVOLUTION! THE LEN BIAS! THE PISTOL PETE! THE BRISTOL, CT. Paranoia blues!

Tom Verlaine! Dreamboat

2009-07-11T10:59:00.000-04:00

RALSTON BUFFALO

2009-07-11T10:44:00.001-04:00

LOOK AT HIS HANDS!

HEROIN

2009-07-11T08:42:00.001-04:00

100 times stronger than morphine?

2009-07-11T08:33:00.000-04:00

Must have a great saxomophone section.

Brandon Bass is on the MAgic!

2009-07-10T17:26:00.002-04:00

Fuck. There's a built in 19 seconds of silence on a recording I made; what's up with all these odd flips of rotation guys that is supposed to serve as the NBA off-season so far? Something far more sinister than one could conjur up in his wildest thc soaked dreams, perhaps. Marcin Gortat and Brandon Bass do the "step"

So, we all want to know when Barrington Levy is gonna get his tryout with the Memphis Grizzlies. I think Jadakiss should get a look from the Hornets. In a perfect world, 10cc could become the starting five for the Indiana Pacers. THe NBA is incredible!

Whose The Last Guy on the End of Your Bench?: New Jersey Nets

2009-07-10T16:28:00.006-04:00

Kendall Gill is a boxer? Jamaal Magloire smokes weed? Ed O'Bannon sells cars(Wow, those fuckers at deadspin are organized...)? Jason Kidd's kids are unequivocally scary (This makes me a bad person)? YEs, I too am still coming to terms with my inability to perform sporting activities at any satisfactory level; it's pretty embarrassing. When I see all the deadspin articles about baseball players who are on the dl for mental problems, I think it's not suprising, but obviously it's in the best financial interest of a team to keep their original 25 man roster together; call-ups mean big bucks for these guys (the contract is full of random incentives, this is how agents spin the game of the player gaining traction over the owners (A real AMERICAN dynamic if there ever was one.)

So the nets have some pieces; namely Keyon Dooling, aka Al Thornton before Al Thornton was dropping buckets for a non-contender, non-also ran embarrassment. Does Vince Carter take his culture of winning with him to Orlando? HA!

Anyways, Lawrence Frank is the least intimidating coach I've ever seen sweat in a suit. It's all about his lieutenants in this gang world tho, so get to know Roy Rogers, that is if you forgot about the guy who got picked 6 spots after Kobe Bryant, of course you did.

Selected 22nd overall in the 1996 NBA Draft out of the University of Alabama, Rogers spent three years in the NBA. In 137 career games with four teams (Vancouver, Boston, Toronto and Denver), Rogers averaged 4.8 points and 3.5 rebounds. Rogers also played four seasons (2000-04) of professional basketball internationally, in Russia, Italy, Greece and Poland.

Who's the last guy on the end of your bench?: Phoenix Suns Addition 2009-07-10T16:20:00.003-04:00 Have you read :07 seconds or less? Are you a big enough douche to use SSOL in your online weblogging? I am. Jack Macullum wrote one hell of a good book. I used the OhioLink system at Oberlin to score a copy from Antioch College, even though they shut their academic doors 2 years ago. mantastic. Anyhoo, get to know Igor Kokoskov. Highlighted facts: Prior to joining the Pistons, Kokoskov served as an assistant with the Los Angeles Clippers from 2000-03 under then-Head Coach Alvin Gentry, becoming the first full-time, non-American assistant coach in NBA history. He also became the first European coach to hold a fulltime position with an NCAA Division I-A school when he served as an assistant at the University of Missouri during the 1999-00 season with current Milwaukee Bucks General Manager John Hammond. Kokoskov, who was an assistant this summer for the Suns’ Las Vegas Summer League squad, has served as an instructor internationally in the NBA’s “Basketball Without Borders” program and has administered other clinics throughout Africa and Europe. What a guy! Re: BIRTH! (The sdtrck) [vowel movements] {weird} 2009-07-10T16:05:00.002-04:00 Not everybody spends time online at facebook, while reading blogs and doing a bajillion other things at randomly assigned speeds. I've been trying to upload lots of mp3s, cause I need to get this stuff out of my head. Joe Tex-Men Are Getting Scarce (Off of a 25 greatest hits collection acquired at the PREX! Back to Pton in a few days, bangin' The Byrds-Lazy Days (Dig the Flying Burrito Brothers Version on Burrito Deluxe, if you're a diehard) Galt Macdermot-Princess Gika (Sampled by DOOM on "Born Like This", my vote for album of the year (my criteria? It resonates the loudest, despite being challenging as any of his best labirynth like rhymes) Make Believe-Small Apartment Epiphany (all you need to know is that at some point we can stop talking about MJ's death and just understand the way we've all changed because of him. Does this make Rihanna's producers some type of brilliant avante-garde production team? I hope not!) A song I made; samples a non-included Joe Tex track, I am on guitar and synth. Dr. Doom-R.I.P. Dr. Octagon (I like this message for some reason, more and more) Teenage Fanclub-The Concept (She wears denim wherever she goes, says she's gonna get some records by the Status Quo; Still she won't be forced, against her will, says she don't do drugs, but she takes the pill) Jowls 2009-07-10T15:46:00.003-04:00 Huh? Have I suffered like an African-American? The Kennedy Analogy is SO telling of his type of solve the world condescension that Halberstam really did debunk oh so weyell. Mcnamara passes, and it goes largely unnoticed, but no worry Bono pulls up the slack like he was in Teenage Fanclub. Red watches "Off the Grid"; people try to live without anyone else. It doesn't go well! How do you reconcile your self-induced exile? Travelogue almost OVA like Hova's career; what if Lebron becomes an evil monster? The next Karl Malone?!?!?!? AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO NOT WORSHIP FALSE IDOLS! Princeton Haters? 2009-07-10T14:27:00.002-04:00 Q: I caught a foul ball off the bat of Jacoby Ellsbury today. As my hands were raised in victory, I thought about your ongoing quest to catch one of your own. I then laughed. To be fair, I am 15, and I've been to upwards of five baseball games in my life. I guess I was just due. -- Eric Powers, Princeton, N.J. SG: Hold on, I need to dig out my file for "My top 500 reasons why I hate Princeton" and add this e-mail … just give me a second here … Hey, fuck Boston, and fuck Bill Simmons; I'm still gonna buy his fucking basketball book. He's the Borges of this basketball shit. I heard on a deadspin podcast that Simmons brings out the worst in Chuck Klosterman. That's a thought... fun time stops. 2009-07-10T09:59:00.002-04:00 Rick Betzel in heaven Did you guys know that Betzel is pretzel in german?!?!?!?! How germane... Oh, VERY NICE NICE NICE NICE 2009-07-09T12:49:00.000-04:00 DIG THE LAUGH TRACK 2009-07-09T12:35:00.001-04:00 oh damn. 2009-07-09T12:24:00.001-04:00 LOLA CREME AND GODLEY 2009-07-09T09:51:00.000-04:00 Hüsker Du covering the Byrds RE: BIRTH! 2009-07-07T18:14:00.003-04:00 I don't want a dog! God damnit we've tarnished our legacy, tarred and f eathered so comp letely till it ha rdens in a va rnish Barnstorming the beantown suburban sprawl in search of hot pots of coffee and knock kneed hockey fans S O A (Penis) R I N G !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I didn't know the Byrds had anything remotely similar to originality I stopped listening when I thought about Keith Moon sayin, "I could do better than that!" Opalescent my my my Garrison Keiller's winter coat auctioned off at basement rates Ranting Raver; CURB YOUR TONGUE, KNAVE! LIstening to gristle and bone get whittled down to their essence is making me wonder if I have a reason to thank my lucky stars at all. SOON! SOON! I'm coming through. Death 2009-07-07T15:31:00.001-04:00 It's over. Ergo Sum 2009-07-07T07:19:00.002-04:00 SLEEEP Blog Elephant Graveyard 2009-07-05T06:29:00.002-04:00 Poor editing can result in some nasty funk: The little кафе́ (Russian Tea House) that the PSC (Princeton Shopping Centre/Retirement Castle) once held within it's whitewashed strip mall non-walls, replete with memories of a portly Jazzbo comically running after two beagles to the tune of "Trampled Underfoot" by Led Zeppelin, will never leave my mind for too long. This bakery was highly unusual in its self-awareness; management understood that its windows served as a preliminary display case by which to catch the eyes of passer-byes. The windows stayed squeaky clean, flowers in the vases were always fresh and music was almost inaudible, but present. Tea House could also mean 'bakery' as one can often take tea with a treat, a sort of pleasurable break. There was a map of the world on the western wall; never before had Vladivostok beckoned to mine eyes. Lying on what is the borderline of China, both N and S Korea as well as the Sea of Japan, it is one of Russia's largest cities; its port serving as a trading post for the eastern world to mother Росси́я. I had always felt a little strange about this whole notion of heritage, of cultural transmission from one generation to the next; I had been told that Max Borenstein had been brought by his parents over to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania from old Russia at a very young age, anywhere, up to and including the ages of 2 and 4; living to tell the tale is a mixed blessing, if you believe in such things. Covering the '10s thru current times his eyes have seen much, and been blind to much more than, I suspect, he ever suspected possible. I found him at the Lafayette Redeemer one day, TV blaring C-Span, in his one bedroom efficiency apartment; emphasis is placed on independent living for 'active' seniors; most choke in horror when I proudly claim that pop-pop still has his PA driver's license at the tender age of 94. He was never much for tea; I can't recall a single time that he and I ever spent inside drinking anything besides water, orange juice or steaming hot decaffeinated coffee. Our dynamic consisted of my mother, and most relatives, telling horror stories of being but a child and being forced against her will to perform mathematical duties; I just recently read a remarkably similar story in the first book of War and Peace. Meanwhile, I had succeeded as a child in ignoring these responsibilities through a kind of laziness that can only be symbolized by flattened, empty boxes of ®Hot Pockets stacked like the elephant graveyard in the middle of Grover Park's field 2 home team dugout. So, in essence he became the benefactor that saw me through the events in my life where I was to decide what type of young man I would hope to become. Being the good soldier, as well as somewhat serious Greco-Roman wrestler (not of the GREASED TURKISH VARIETY) he was a serious supporter of any and all team sports. He did push the math on my brother and I, but he grew more and more gentle with his grandchildren as he aged. Meanwhile he continued terrorizing those Borensteins, Bortners, and other seemingly artificially-generated generic Jewish last names, of the baby boomer generation. I sat listening to Levon Helm's "Electric Dirt" all by my lonesome in someone else's empty bedroom right by the rhein where the Berlin wall once stood as a symbol of the old dichotomy that dictated some type of us vs. them dynamic over ideology, There's a poster on the door for a conference on bringing down capitalism, there's Frank Rich Op-Eds with the Madoff story, viral marketing and an intriguing spin on what happens when economic uncertainty overshadows American idols like Johnny Depp (for the record, Public Enemies does sound ill), an empty coffee cup that was 2 parts espresso and 1 part cold whole milk (technically 3.8 %, whatever, it's still VOLL-MILCH to me). RANDOM ASIDE: Does Sarah Palin suffer from the same debilitating syndrome that plagues myself and so many other failed sportscasters? SHAME ON ALL YOU WHO JUDGE HER ON THE BASIS OF HER WOMANDOM!!!!! So sayeth assholes like Huckabee, Romney, Giuliani and THE GHOST OF FIORELLO LAGUARDIA!!!!! This doesn't mean much of anything, trying to keep the blade of the mind from dulling too far. Oh WELL I FEEL BETTER! COMPARISON 2009-07-01T20:19:00.002-04:00 Well, now that allmusic.com confirmed that the new wilco single is, in fact, a George Harrison "All Things Must Pass" pastiche, I feel like kind of a dummy for getting so uppity about it. Does the lead singer of Ween look a little too much like the dude from Tears for fEars? HMM 2009-06-30T05:57:00.002-04:00 Like Charles Darwin before him, Stanley Fish is an interested amateur in a field where he may yield surprising useful results. While Darwin is remembered for his research and development of what we now call "The Origin of Species", Fish posts on an excellent blog on the NYT. He recently wrote about the NBA draft, something that I spent too many hours reading about. I've decided I don't unconditionally love pink floyd anymore. THE FISH THAT WROTE ABOUT THE DRAFT IDEAL 2009-06-29T14:24:00.000-04:00 INCREDIBLE LIVE ACT! 2009-06-28T21:21:00.001-04:00 GET THE HUNGARIAN TRANSLATERS ON THE LANDLINE IMMEDIATELY! Thoughts 2009-06-28T20:20:00.002-04:00 So there's 1968, banner year for muzik. Tropicalia, Psychedelia, TROPIC OF CANCER, all doing the can-can on the stage of your mind. One particular highlight that springs to mind is Odessey and Oracle by the Zombies; what of that typo that they never changed, is it part of the overall message of the album, of the decade?!?!!? That's just one part of the equation though. What equation, you understandably ask. Well. It looks like this: Maxwell's demon Physics a hypothetical being imagined as controlling a hole in a partition dividing a gas-filled container into two parts, and allowing only fast-moving molecules to pass in one direction, and slow-moving molecules in the other. This would result in one side of the container becoming warmer and the other cooler, in violation of the second law of thermodynamics. ORIGIN late 19th cent.: named after J. C. Maxwell (see Maxwell 2 ). FUGHEDDABOUTIT. First of all, there's this guy: RICHARD FEYNMAN And then the Bee Gees put out "Odessa" in 1969; similar title to the previous years' Bluntstone, Argent and co. masterpiece. I'm hearing it for the first time as I type these words. If you don't gotta copy, then read this Ed O'Bannon related hypothetical hip-hop question. GEORGE ELLIOTT 2009-06-27T12:45:00.002-04:00 Hmm, so then I got to thinking about the continued Harrison influence. Then I thought, what about a step back (GEORGE IS MERELY A PAWN IN A MUCH LARGER GAME). His hero was Roy Orbison, tourmate in the '60s; big sunglasses, penetrating voice, country shuffle. New Wilco 2009-06-27T08:17:00.003-04:00 George Harrison 'Wrote' (peep the Dick Cavett interview on youtube for full explanation) My Sweet Lord: He was given shit by certain other artists and their legal representatives for sounding suspiciously like "He's So Fine": WILCO OFFERS THIS ON CONAN RECENTLY: HISTORY IN THE MAKIN', who cares anywayz? Even YOU YESTERDAY YOU HAD TO ASK ME WHERE IT WAS AT 2009-06-26T11:51:00.000-04:00 Mj's Dead Momma! 2009-06-25T19:28:00.004-04:00 No Twitter account, too many words. Maybe the great flood that Noah warned us all of was the number of MJ tributes that will come out in the coming weeks (you could say Rihanna was timely with her direct reference to Mj recently, others might say it is wholly unsurprising that poppa Joe Jackson outlived his youngest son. It's ridiculous, buttfucking ridiculous. I would say this should not outshadow Ed Mcmahon's passing. This is way sadder than when Heath Ledger died. NBA DRAFT, instant tributes? Finna find out. HIKING IN THE WOODS = PHILANDERING IN ARGENTINA 2009-06-25T06:51:00.000-04:00 READ ALL BOUT IT PIERRE MENARD, AUTHOR OF QUIXOTE 2009-06-23T12:48:00.001-04:00 JOOOOOOEEEEEY: BOB Dylan's Desire plays while you read this. After three cultishly revered albums with Organized Konfusion, underground legend Pharoahe Monch cut a solo deal with Rawkus and delivered his debut, Internal Affairs, in late 1999. Both Monch and Rawkus seemed to want to push their music farther above ground, and some longtime followers were shocked to hear a harder, angrier, more profane Monch, who seemed to be courting a more thugged-out audience. But it's a reinvention that doesn't compromise his high lyrical standards, making Internal Affairs a success on its own terms. Sounding like it was sampled from a monster-movie soundtrack, the club smash "Simon Says" sets the tone for the album; Monch delivers rapid-fire, intricately rhymed lines in between shouts of "get the f*ck up!" and "girls, rub on your titties!" It proved to be the most successful crossover bid of Monch's career, and much of the rest of Internal Affairs manages to straddle the underground/mainstream divide surprisingly well. Even when he's just giving shout-outs to Queens, or enlisting guests like Canibus and M.O.P. to help pummel a track into submission, Monch lives up to his reputation as one of hip-hop's most technically skilled MCs. Nowhere is this balancing act more evident than on "Rape," a rather disquieting extended metaphor for his mastery of hip-hop (other MCs just "ain't f*ckin' it right"). A more benign theme track is "Official," whose carefully constructed barrage of sports references demonstrates the cleverness that made Monch a cult legend. Not everything sits well together — the sophomoric "The Ass" is an odd way to lead into the love song "The Light," the Organized Konfusion reunion "God Send," and the reflective "The Truth," which features guest appearances by Common and Talib Kweli. But in terms of bringing an underappreciated hip-hop great to a (somewhat) wider audience, Internal Affairs generally gets it right. NOTES ON A MULTICULTURALISM TALK 2009-06-22T09:44:00.002-04:00 Arjun Appadurai, world renowned anthropologist, deals with the cultural dimensions of globalization in works such as "Modernity at Large" and "Fear of Small Numbers." LINK TO THE KULTURHAUS in Berlin TOO CLOSE & TOO FAR -Yesterday's strangers are today's neighbor; the geography of daily life has changed. We are becoming all at once too far and too close to each other in this increasingly global age; TOO FAR Increasing isolation (the growth of urban areas magnifies this) (NOT JUST THE INVIDIVIDUAL, GROUPS ARE ISOLATING THEMSELVES, but on the basis of what I ask) TOO CLOSE Today's global cultural flows have a curious inner-contradiction; the old barriers of ethnicity, nationalism, religion and other ****FUNDAMENTAL**** issues are impeding/slowing the development of common ground cultural flows (internet, art, jobs, etc.) MULTICULTURALISM IS OUTDATED Too 'soft' politically Too weak intellectually Multiculturalism has had recent value, historically; a benign (safe, soft) lens by which to discuss cross-border traffic in the neo-liberal economic framework (big market, aka western europe and THE US OF A) MASS ATTACKS ON CIVILIANS (TERRORISM) NATURAL DISASTERS ECONOMIC DOWNTURN All these things are tied in to the political, social and humanitarian issues that MULTICULTURALISM has never had a real answer for, in general offering nothing more than a shrug of the shoulders. CONVIVIALITY Living together in a way that is enriching in certain ways, while leaving certain key choices to the invididual. (UTOPIA?!?!) In the world we seek diversity is encouraged, sustained and enhanced DIALOGUE Risks: No one can enter a dialogue without risk The other party may not understand you; we try to be as inter-subjective (understand as much as possible the other side of the story) as possible, but there are always limitations and things that get lost in translation. the other party may understand you all too well; one's ulterior motives, what your REAL preferences are (what makes you not them), prevent you from placing emphasis on the us. A PROBLEM Let's take a look at the series of binary oppositions (Christian and Muslim world, et. al) that rule our lives (itself in a binary opposition with death; the 1 0 boy-o! because1 + 0 = 1, this is the only math that I really fundamentally believe in): -Religion -Language -Hometown GLOBALISM FURTHER PLACES EMPHASIS ON SOCIETY's INTERNAL DIVISIONS There are basic things that differentitate the me from you, things that are set in stone like the ten commandments; WE CAN't FUNDAMENTALLY CHANGE AS HUMAN BEINGS, we are limited, fractured creatures. SO, THEN WHAT TO DISCUSS?!?!?! -With CONVIVIALITY as a general end-goal for which the means of DIALOGUE are employed; we go about the act of compromise for the ever greater good (Feeling good, feeling great!) BUT! DIALOGUE MUST OCCUR WITH BOTH THE OTHER AND THE SELF (A duality of the invidividual HIGHER ORDER THINKING [let's take drugs!]) So, there must be a constant renewal of the self Samuel Huntington's Clash of Civilizations (ATTACHED); is a theory that the world is becoming more and more divided through a series of binary oppositions (IT WAS ALWAYS LIKE THIS, but with an increasingly connected world, there become more and more areas of polarization (HATE AND LOVE, this usually leads to violence, we're violent creatures; so, how do we fight through our anger, our embarrassment, our disappointment in ourselves; I PERSONALLY think it is through something beautiful that can allow you to leave the self temporarily. I can only achieve this through playing music, maybe by writing notes, these notes are pretty fucking good, huh? Must've been a good talk; I hope you don't need a translator to read this effectively. WHAT ARE THE INTERNAL DEBATES? THE RISKS OF DIALOGUE REAR THEIR UGLY HEADS Selectivity; we don't share all our humanity all of the time. URBAN POVERTY 60% of the world will be living in cities by some date that I didn't write down (speculation, doesn't mean toooo much to this boy-o) THIS MEANS MORE AND MORE URBAN POOR AKA SLUMDWELLERS COSMPOLITANISM FROM BELOW -A compulsory (involuntary [produced without being provoked by an other]) kind of cosmopolitan culture comes from these slums ( you're seeing the transmission already from AMERICA's URBAN POOR to other's music and style (AKA BASEBALL HATS in Kreuzberg) -Multi-lingual; poor people in places like India where there is extremely high linguistic diversity are finding common ground through the market, maybe. 1/2 of the World's Ubran population will be in these kinds of slums. THEY accomplish this new shared global cosmopolitanism through the internet, the visibility of stars in movies, sports, etc.; it is without any of the economic benefits that allow traditional cosmopolitanism to develop, aka people like me who grow up because they come in to a little bit of money. This means local more and more becomes global; a butterfly flapping it's wings in venezuela won't cause a tornado in West Texas, but this is all conected at something deeper I tell myself... THE URBAN POOR ARE FASCINATING! They are performing great experiments in dialogue (demonstrating the risks!) WRAPPING UP CHANGING IDEAS OF CITIZENSHIP Building our society on conviviality and dialogue rather than territoriality. A HARD ROAD TO HOPE IF WE ARE TWO DISTINCT 'I's ME You I I The common ground is what we're standing on (It's about the environment, dude. THERE IS A NEW CRISIS LOOMING IN THE INTERNET[what if it gets overpolluted and everyday people can't even use it properly, we gotta find a way to be more efficient with our usage of space; AM I A FUCKING HYPOCRITE, or AM I JUST ON MY WAY; I have hope...) OUTKAST GHETTO MUSIK IS THE VIDEO VERSION OF THIS NOTES IF YOU'RE BORED I miss YOU! Time is short, but LOVE IS BIG. LOVE, al LISTEN TO THE TEN YEAR's AFTER SONG "GONNA RUN" it's been a personal favorite of mine for about 4 years now. That's RICH! 2009-06-21T08:25:00.002-04:00 Verbosity is a target worth destroying. Frank Rich's op-ed for the nyt is a lot more convincing online, this week's edition is no exception. I wondered if someone could construct a labrynth that one could enter without even noticing. Music Video Examples of this tehnique in action: Sunday is the Psychic Holiday. WHAT A DAY for a song in your heart and a beer in your gut. Mynah Birds 2009-06-19T11:38:00.003-04:00 I'm thinking at this exact moment about Rick James and Neil Young's ill-fated vocal group the Mynah Birds. If you listen to standout classic, sampled and retopping the chart funk like "Superfreak" and "Mary Jane" you hear a guy who could play his ass off on the bass on top of having an original and impressive vocal dynamic range. Allmusic.com's take on the lifes and times of Dave Chappelle's misfortunate victim/accomplice in modern comic times. In the late '70s, when the fortunes of Motown Records seemed to be flagging, Rick James came along and rescued the company, providing funky hits that updated the label's style and saw it through into the mid-'80s. Actually, James had been with Motown earlier, though nothing had come of it. After growing up in Buffalo and running away to join the Naval Reserves, he ran away from the Navy to Toronto, where he was in a band with future Buffalo Springfield members Neil Young and Bruce Palmer, and with Goldy McJohn, later of Steppenwolf. As the Mynah Birds, they signed to Motown and recorded, though no record was ever released. James had a journeyman's career playing bass in various groups before signing again to Motown as an artist, songwriter, and producer. His first single, "You and I" (May 1978), topped the R&B charts and reached the pop Top 40. "Mary Jane" (September 1978) was another hit. Both were on James' debut album, Come Get It! (June 1978), which went gold. Subsequent efforts were not as successful, though Bustin' Out of L Seven (January 1979) featured the R&B hit "Bustin' Out" (April 1979). James returned to form with the number one R&B hit "Give It to Me Baby" (March 1981), featured on the million-selling Street Songs (April 1981), which also featured the hit "Super Freak." James turned his production attention to resuscitating the career of the Temptations, recently returned to Motown, and "Standing on the Top" (April 1982), credited to the Temptations featuring Rick James, was an R&B Top Ten. (He also produced recordings by Teena Marie and the Mary Jane Girls.) James' follow-up to Street Songs was the gold-selling Throwin' Down (May 1982), which featured the hit "Dance Wit' Me." The title song of Cold Blooded (August 1983) became James' third R&B number one, and the album also featured his hit duet with Smokey Robinson, "Ebony Eyes." James' greatest-hits album Reflections (August 1984) featured the new track "17" (June 1984), which also became a hit. Glow (April 1985) contained Top Ten R&B singles in the title track and "Can't Stop," which was featured in the summer movie blockbuster Beverly Hills Cop. The Flag (June 1986) featured the hit "Sweet and Sexy Thing" (May 1986). James left Motown for the Reprise division of Warner Bros. Records as of the album Wonderful (July 1988), which featured his number one R&B hit "Loosey's Rap," on which he was accompanied by rapper Roxanne Shante. Nevertheless, his "punk funk" didn't seem to rest comfortably with the trend toward rap/hip-hop. In 1989, James charted briefly with a medley of the Drifters hits "This Magic Moment" and "Dance With Me." In 1990, MC Hammer scored a massive hit with "U Can't Touch This," which consisted of his rap over the instrumental track of "Super Freak." That should have made for a career rebirth, but James was plagued by drug and legal problems that found him more frequently in court and in jail rather than in the recording studio. The majority of his legal woes behind him, James returned in 1997 with Urban Rapsody, which didn't yield any hits but was well accepted by critics. Rick James died of a heart attack on August 6, 2004, at his Los Angeles home. REAL WORLD VERMONT 2009-06-18T21:01:00.000-04:00 When did everyone decide to let Weird al become just al? MEXICO: THE NOVEL 2009-06-18T19:56:00.002-04:00 Nixon fixed his coat, and Groening poured it down your throat, middle name game, like Rob Smigel and the ex-presidents brilliant reanimation of Checkers, the first hound of the 1970's for a little while. BLOG AWFUL SELF PROMOTION ONE MAN BAND FANSTAND GRANDIOSE TOMFOOLERY TOM SELLECK IN A LEXUS WITH TEXAS LICENSE PLATES WITH TINY ENGRAVED QUOTES FROM Y 2009-06-18T19:40:00.002-04:00 WIKIPEDIA WRECKING CREW BLOG AWFUL SELF PROMOTION ONE MAN BAND FANSTAND GRANDIOSE TOMFOOLERY TOM SELLECK IN A LEXUS WITH TEXAS LICENSE PLATES WITH TINY ENGRAVED QUOTES FROM YEATS, "THE WORLD IS TOO MUCH WITH US" (He was a fascist). Oh LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA MANNY RAMIREZ STORY BEHIND THE STORY DATELINE CNN NEWSWEEK TABITHA CHRIS CONNELY PRINCETON NEW JERSEY 2009-06-18T19:34:00.003-04:00 Well, you can read about the 'wrecking crew' that Phil Spector employed to weave the magic he left the world before finally getting locked up for being a fascist (this is the least surprising aspect of ANY successful post-war american they will tell you in some analysis at a left-wing think tank ran by mustachioed gay-rights champions), whatever you wanna call it, or you can watch this video OR READ below for the most important aspects of it that you will probably hear me screaming the next time I'm in LA on a crime spree. Jai Alais (Highlights for fake mexicans) YES LA, THAT WAS ME TOO! (SLUM VILL NBA REFERENCE comes shortly later) electric vibraphone 2009-06-17T13:25:00.002-04:00 Hand Drums are a fun game for the mentally ill. Hilltop field was witness to some all-timers man. Trumpets blare fanfare means it's time. Thyme in my parsley jar means no respect. Damn kids Stealing my sweet premium wine, my yuengling lager, SLICK RICK on a mos def track?! Oh, it's just a beat from the BEAT KONDUCTA series... Work soon, job's great. I'm always early and I don't care. butt prints 2009-06-16T10:48:00.002-04:00 It's OVER 2009-06-15T04:29:00.002-04:00 The Los Angeles Lakers are your 2009 NBA champions. The Magic redeemed their 1994 squad that got swept by the dream shake and other such tools of the trade, by winning a single game. My preseason predictions didn't tell us much of anything, other than predicting Al Harrington to the Knicks (nice) and putting Joakim Noah's somewhat suspect street cred/douchebag duality in to its proper CEntral New Jersey Prep School context. So of course everyone shows Shaquille O'neal's twitter; this finals is somehow all about him. And the Cleveland trade talks? BOOOOOORING!!!!! Don't let hipsters get you down guys. Tweet Stuff 2009-06-14T17:43:00.002-04:00 So ESPN has a big front page thing on what NBA players are tweeting; it suspiciously reminds me of what Bethlehem Shoals was doing at the baseline for some time now. When reached for comment freedarko said: That's a tough one. Baseline wasn't the first place to spotlight player twits, but we certainly curated them harder, and with more of a distinct sensibility, than places that just looked for news-worthy stuff or JOKEZ. THis is somewhere between the two, no? STRAIGHT FROM THE MOTHERFUCKIN' CASSETTE So, I am trying to make the music, yes? New stuff to come soon. Döner Kebap. nouveau poor? HAHA! Ain't shit changed since '88, get on the corner and push something. 2009-06-14T08:41:00.001-04:00 HEY BLOGGASS, readaboutrealpeople.