B&B Pilates

I don’t give a fuck right now about what I made before today
Mainly because most of it is garbage

This whole weekend is dedicated to Jackie, so I decided the only way to start it would be by having a Puerto Rican conversation between myself and the TV, just like she once had for a day or so in Miramar, a wealthy section of San Juan, Puerto Rico.
Fran’s projected results:

USA


Spain


Argentina


I love basketball, I love basketball; that’s what every fan tells himself as he takes a long sit on the porcelain throne. Why is toilet time such a good time for releasing things? I guess that was a dumb question.

Carmelo Anthony to Europe? Just ask Bill Walton:

His FIBA game is incredible, maybe he’s an even BETTER fit for a Euroleague club than a Josh Childress type. Wow, ‘Melo has been dunking with great tenacity. Why doesn’t Walt “Clyde” Frazier announce every video game? A dream team of him and Keith Hernandez might cause my TV to shatter, Cathode Ray tubes have a tendencies to overload when the colors are too intense.

Digital Photography


This is not a photograph, it’s a file.


How does it feel for Leo Rautins, playing for daddy? That must suck to know your dad was a bigger beast than you'll ever be at basketball. Anyway, go Canada, I guess. Also, I thought Carl English would be nasty, but there is only room for one English in the short history of the NBA and that is our man, Alex English. As NBA.com will tell you,

Alex English
Jersey #2 Retired: March 2, 1993


Alex English's career can best be summed up in one word: consistency. In 10 of his 11 seasons with the Nuggets (1979-90), English averaged better than 21 points per game. In eight of those 11 years, he scored more than 25 points per game.

When he departed as a free agent in 1990, English left as the Nuggets all-time leading scorer - having notched 21, 654 points - and his career average of 25. 9 ppg is the best in Nuggets history. He also ranks 10th on the NBA's all-time scoring list.

The eight-time NBA All-Star is also the Nuggets career leader in games played, minutes played, field goals made, field goals attempted and assists. He ranks third in rebounds and steals.

In each of his first 10 seasons with the Nuggets, English finished among the top 10 in the NBA in scoring. In 1982-83, he became the first and only Nugget to lead the league in scoring with a 28.4 average. English also holds the distinction of leading the NBA in scoring during the decade of the '80s, after compiling 19, 682 points.

A second-team All-NBA member in 1982, '83 and '86, English guided the Nuggets to Division championships in 1984-85 and '87-88.

Also a leader in the community, English was presented the J. Walter Kennedy Citizenship Award for community service in 1988. IN 1985, he convinced NBA players to donate their shares from the All-Star game to Interaction Ethiopia, a relief fund.

During his playing days, he was also involved in a variety of other activities such as acting in major motion pictures, Amazing Grace and Chuck. He has continued to stay busy since his playing days by being involved in Internet sites and coaching in the NBDL.

He was inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame in 1997.

Roosevelt Roads; give that shit back to Puerto Rico, what the fuck USA??!??!?
Elliott Smith’s Self-Titled; Wes Anderson, ok I forgive myself for buying in to his movies, is pretty on point in following Gus Van Zandt’s lead in utilizing early Elliott Smith pieces in films to emphasize sadness.



NCAA basketball is dumb, it should share rules with FIBA, that way the NBA can have a true outlet to international style. This way more players will develop in the international style and make all national teams better by having the NCAA system be one where players the world round interested in attending school, and getting certain extracurricular benefits, can actually improve their basketball games. Athletic departments need to have accountability, as all students should have equal opportunity to pursue their aims, therefore we should take title IX on step further and say that all academics and athletics should be funded equally.

Tayshaun Prince versus UNC:

Maybe he is a great team USA addition. Also, how good defensively was the Dominguez team with Tyson Chandler and Prince in high school?

Blogs really should just be what you do in person, but whatever watered down version of that the internet can cook up. That is why I will try to give away as much music as possible on it before it’s too late.

Elliott Smith-S/T
Wow, this is a really amazing recording. It feels like someone is stabbing himself in the heart with a steak knife until he finally bleeds to death along in his kitchen. Something like that…
I bet a lot of people like to Google their own names. So maybe I’ll just write down people’s names here, and maybe if they google their own name randomly they’ll find me.

Dan Opatut
John Rocker
Rock Hudson
Hudson Hawk
Josh Smith
Wes Anderson
Birdman (The Rapper)
Taka Yasuzawa
Edward Sayid
Nathan Link
Alex Diaz
Guillermo Diaz
Dax Shepard
Horace Grant
Brian Grant
Ron Gant
Tom Hanks
Colin Hanks
Colin Farrell
Will Ferrell
Woody Harrelson
Kobe “Beef” Bryant
Joe “Bean” Bryant
Mick Foley
Axl Rose
Phil Lynot (Thin Lizzy lead singer)
C.C. Sabbathia
Max Kotelchuk
Jordan
Peter
In that order
Because let’s face it, you can’t play the game unless it’s all in order, otherwise it’s just random chaos.

Ella Fitzgerald
Richard Simmons
Ernie Sims
Homer Simpson
Gomer Pyle
Phytoplankton
Johnny Depp
Gerard Depardieu
Gary Carter
Joe Carter
Mitch Williams
Butch Cassidy
Dan Akroyd
Dana Carvey
Steve Harvey
Harvey Fierstein
Robin Williams
Edward Norton
Bill Gates
Edward Sayid
Englebert Humperdink
Coronel Clink
Bell Peppers
Dr. Bepper
Yuta Tabuse
Lane Staley
Darren Mcfadden
Dante
Nate Dogg
That last one was the best one yet. Dante + O.G. = Nate Dogg
Calvin Broadus
Charles Bronson
Will Leitch
Emitt Rhodes
Darrel Arthur
Ichiro Suzuki
Jianlin Yi
Manny Corpus
Roberto Bein
Mr. Bean
Mr. Clean
Bruce Willis
Sir Sean Connery
Duff Man
Expendable Lad
Lard Lad
Inspector Clusoe
Peter Sellers
Larry Sellers
Lon(g) Johnson
John Trapasso
Jim Morrison

Fender Telecaster Deluxe

Love single-coil pickups? Sure you do, even if you don't play an electrified string instrument, you've enjoyed countless recordings that featured the clarity and ring of these lovely magnetic boxes. Count me among the millions of people who dig on the single-coil. However, just as poop trumps pee in every numerical argument, at least in an olfactory sense, two is always better than one. So let's not forget the importance of the dual-coil, "Humbucker", pickup; credited in large part to Seth Lover, while working at Gibson, he sought a way to eliminate the low level electrical hum through common-mode rejection.

Anyways, I picked up a black beauty.

Here's a fun column on the Telecaster Deluxe.

Cream of Cauliflower

There is an increasingly widening gap between my left and right butt cheeks.

Oh, you're still reading. In that case, make yourself at home. Here's an album I really like (SEEB EHT EERF), because it has 5 things all albums ought to have:

-Vocal harmony
-Tight, crispy drums
-Electric bass guitar
-Fun noises
-Quality rhythm guitar

ANIHC ENIF EMOS SKAERB DNA SESPALER NEEUQ EHT, AET EROFEB


AYA!

I know

I may have promised some other shit first, but I just remembered that this album is ridiculously good. As allmusic.com will tell you, Beulah was a member of the Elephant 6 collective, big ups to Phil Warren for opening my eyes to this music back in freshman year.

When Your Heartstrings Break

As allmusic might also tell you, this album demonstrates Beulah's leap from lo-fi to medium-fi. There are so many standout tracks, it may take repeated listens, so take your time with this album.

Some quick thoughts:
-When I watch old couples sitting and eating in a restaurant I get really sad. Does this mean I have problems?
-Isn't there a better way to be happy than by doing what other people tell you?
-Why can't there be full frontal male nudity on public access programming?

De.lir.ious

Beep Beep
Who's got the keys to my jeep?

Vroom Vroom

Sometimes a record hits home for no reason at all, for better and often for worse; treat the Macarena like the Alamo, never forget the asinine group dancing. When I first heard The Good Life's Album of the Year I was immediately hooked, and I was perfectly happy with my girlfriend of the time to boot. Repeated (excessive, daily) listening drove me slightly mad and to the single life; I was so absorbed by the themes of alcoholism, loss and the midwest that I actually was compelled to lead my life in a similar fashion. Call me pathetic, call me what you will. So it is with a great pain in my heart that I reveal the album that started a movement in my head that will just not slow down no matter how stoned I get in rebellion of my formerly alcoholic self.

Album of the Year

In other news:
The Phillies are going to the first round of the playoffs, and then they will lose to whoever the hell they are playing.
The capital of Cambodia ain't got shit on the Baton Twirl.
Dunking outdoors by yourself in your hometown is pathetic after years of hyping oneself of.

Walking by the River

The elevator at 150 W. 58th street is remarkably fast. Up on the 30th floor one can find the austere Spanish consulate general that reminded me of the Department of Motor Vehicles, but with a nice view.

Stay tuned for some Band of Bees, Neil Young, Little Feat, and some Chris Brown (maybe) all this week. Also, don't throw beer bottles after chugging them, nobody ever wins in that situation.

Long story short

Baseball is having an interesting year
The NBA off season is full of intrigue and bad signings by the NJ Nets
The Boston Celtics might be better this upcoming season if Tony Allen and J.R. Giddens start smoking out of the same ROOR bong
The Golden State Warriors are in big trouble
The LA Clippers are going to win just enough games to disappoint Bill Simmons
The LA Lakers will dub Andrew Bynum, "Baby Bitch", because of his obsession with chocolate and cheese
Goldschlager will jockey for position with Jaeger in the pools of vomit I leave all over my quiet neighborhood
Philadelphia might show the world the genius that is Ed Stefanski
Bald GM's continue their coup of building successful NBA rosters around talented players whose skills can be placed in to the coaches system, implying they find coaches that have proven system that can work with particular pieces. In a desperate attempt to stay current, Danny Ainge calls up Dan Akroyd and borrows his skin cap from "Coneheads".
When Carmelo Anthony hits the trading block for pennies on the dollar, will he finally team up with Lebron James to form the postmodern Bulls squad we've all been waiting for? Maybe Denver should defrost the formerly rotting corpse of Gerry Mcnamara and get him to show Carmelo what it means to love the game again.
Earl Boykins can bench press a lot of weight, they say.

I'm in love

and it's a sunny day.

Cultura Profetica:



Steve Miller Band:



Oh Shit

Osirus

Two days after
Ol' Dirty passed
Harry Bornstein
duct taped a 40 oz.
to Allen Memorial Art Musuem
and renamed it in Dirt Mccgirt's honor

Ol' Dirty's Officla Mixtape

so begins

my beef w/ allmusic.com



July 20, 2008 The Fugees-The Score

Laurel Canyon California circa 1968:

San Martín

Meet me at the corner of Jorge Luis Borges and Avenida Santa Fe, and we'll walk a block to Kentucky Pizza. Later I'll take you down Thames, to MALOUVA and there we ingest Malbecs from 2004 and beyond. Oh the future is grand, as we take a turn down to Hollywood, not so far away, but as Liberacci rolls over in his grave, we take in all the sights of Mundo Bizarro's brand of brutish behavior. A quick survey, the scene, a sighting of slight figures, slim, slow, sultry figures, locomotive motor train whistle blowing through my brains.

Again, Levon Helm will simply not leave my head, his drumming too idiosyncratic.

You better stop and think about what you're doing:

The Solution

Before

Before there were hipsters
there was Harry
Before there was ketchup
there was corn syrup

Out in Dubai
they're building
a man made island where
it's land locked
and dry
so why change
the world
for some
white
collar
tourists?

Before they brought back
the dead of next year
they tried their hardest
to squeeze the square peg
in to the round hole

Vagina
anti-inflammatory
Eric Mangini
formerly of Foxboro's
fine facilities

There's a plague
and it's eating away at
the population's base
and we worry
when our parents say
that we are more spoiled
than they are
because we see
first hand
the destruction of man
and we think that it's
time to place blame
not upon ourselves
us, we're great
and progressive
and kind
and we might be
running late
but surprise!
we're resiliant
little carnivorous
mammals
and we'll move on
when we find
the real source
of our divine
worrying over
the race of life's sport


No support, none whatsoever, as we cascade down the mountainside's cool breeze's glide, reminiscent of a bath in KY, I wonder why I didn't cover my face. The awkward moment, like a fart at a funeral, left cupid to wander and wonder if his arrows were defectively plumed; I told you I loved you, you told me confusion, I guess I don't listen while speaking, but who does anyways, am I so far inside my own head that I can't see the problems are remedies? 420 friendly listed on craiglist for apartments in New Amsterdam, time to get my brain fixed.

Some are Bound for Glory

Blogs suck

En la playa

It's hard to imagine a world where your two best friends both die from drug overdoses. If there was ever a way to pay musical tribute to Danny Whitten, the original guitarist in Crazy Horse, and roadie Bruce Berry, Tonight's the Night is it. That said, 1973's On the Beach is perhaps the greatest cathartic achievement I've ever heard a studio musician create.

He's baring all his soul for the sake of reconciling both the internal and external pressures and criticisms that had been surrounding him ever since his star began to shine brightly. I don't think you should read about it, one ought to just listen and form her own opinion.

Also, this album ought to get remastered and reissued digitally. Neil make it happen!

On the Beach

Levon Helm's presence is felt on Revolution Blues. David Crosby's semen was felt in side Melissa Etheridge's wifes cervical cavity.

Dead Weight Loss

old links appear to have died. If anyone needs anything from an older post, just email me or drop a comment and I'll send you a personal link.

In other news, Princeton is really boring for some people, and just plain frustrating for others.

I hate golf

Don't you hate golf too?

Nichlaus thinks money has made young golfers go soft. Fuck Golf.

Bitch Work

La reina se murió;

I have just discovered...

I want to sex you Mutombo...


p.s.-fuck the Mets, fuck the Mets, fuck the Phillies for trading for fat, stocky, Darko Milicic:

Melted Brains

Brains for breakfast:
Brains for lunch:
Brains for dinner:

Pepino:

We Gonna Get Cancelled For Sure...

It took some time, back when Apologies to the Queen Mary first played in my headphones I didn't think much of their sound, but hundreds of listens later, I think that might be one of the best albums that came out this decade. So, they decided to drop a new album recently, it's, uhh, really good.

At Mount Zoomer:

Don't say I never get you nothing.

Truan Savage

I'm going to compile a picture essay about Truan Savage. Why not a different notable Oberlin 5th year, like say, Sean Mair? It's a long, complicated answer, but, in short, it's easy.

Hey look, Truan is on myspace.

Truan is a pretty cool guy


Remember when a drunken Nick Sullender slammed Truan to the ground?

Picture Truan, shirtless, drunk in the middle of a Summer Day.

What Truan will see when he googles his own name.

Easy Listening

Phil Spector, like him or not, has had a profound effect on the way we appreciate popular music. His work in the studio is prolific, incredibly original and often controversial. The Wall of Sound recording technique certainly warrants mentioning as a crucial development in Mono recording, he was adamantly opposed to stereo recordings, saying they focused too much on the listener, and not enough on the producer; read about it here.

People like covering his work. If you went to Oberlin College, Wesleyan, or live in Brooklyn, you might have overheard someone mention a band called Grizzly Bear; they are pretty fucking good, and they don't mind wearing their influences on their sleeve, whether or not one can appreciate that is a different question. Here's them doing their best girl group impression, I guess, on their version of "He Hit Me (And It Felt Like a Kiss)"




Reasons to not like Phil Spector:

-He's a megalomaniac
-He may have shot his wife dead during an argument (I suppose he's no William Burroughs in that regard)
-He played Dr. Kevorkian to the fading esprit de corps of the Beatles
-He may or may not advocate domestic abuse in his songwriting (I personally think that the band Grizzly Bear pretty much hit the mark with their take on the Crystal's classic, when sung by a sullen male voice to take the irony of the track and make it in to a modern Bo-Diddley kind of swagger song)

Did he kill his ex-wife? Probably, he's a crazy motherfucker.

¿XANADU?


Is that Nick Koenig?



Anyways, here's more Phil Spector than I know what to do with, if you want more, then leave a comment:
The Crystals-He Hit Me (And it Felt Like a Kiss):Back to Mono
Bobby B. Soxx & the Blue Jeans-Why Do Lovers Break Each Other's Hearts?
The Ronettes-Walking in the Rain
The Ronettes-Soldier Baby of MineThe Beatles-Long and Winding Road:Let it Be

The perfect storm will crash down upon the Atlantic Division come 2010, which believe you me is on the way, and it may or may not require Lebron James. More to come on my zygote of a theory about idealism, Jorge Luis Borges, NBA perfection, the importance of James Posey, Bobby Brown and Julian Wright to the New Orleans Hornets, the overall expendable nature of basically every player on the Houston Rockets summer league squad, The deep seated fear of mercenary free agents ruining entire seasons of intrigue in a desperate search for the glory of a championship, Jews in the NBA,the ballad of DJ Mbenga, the importance of Run THC (Sean Williams, Yi Jianlin, and (in my funny, jewcentric world) Jordan Farmar), and maybe even a peek at some Chinese people wearing Yi Jerseys.