Sophomore

Sophomore year of college was a great time for sophomoric humor. Thanks to two completely different people I learned two complimentary terms that occupy the better part of my mental space:
1)The booty-do (courtesy of Elyria high's 3rd most popular alumni in the history of the world, Joe Reisz), when a woman's gut sticks out further than her booty do.
2)The booby-do (courtesy of Highland Park beauty queen and identifier of psycho hose beasts 'round the world, Emma Kessler), when a woman's gut sticks out further than her boobies do.

I never thought I'd reach an age when I saw a combination of the two; like some kind of antithetical Apollonian perfection, it was a mere dream in the twitter feed of my twisted mind. Then, I went to Moe's bar here in Huelva. The bar maiden smiled as she handed me the 5 beers I ordered (1 euro beers, you gotta go big, plus pictures of homer everywhere make you want to drink); I could not reciprocate the pleasant exchange for long. Out of the corner of my eye were two beautiful Spanish lesbians showing their affection for each other; as I commented at a party on Friday, the phenomenon of hot women everywhere leaves men in a perpetual "semi-hard" state, and therefore nullifies much of the flesh arrow sporting that ought to arise from such sultry seductresses (and they say men are pigs...). So, I got way off topic, point is that Nico and I skipped out so he could roll a ciggie, but frigid temperatures were not so inviting. We sought shelter at the Super 8 bar next door. With somewhat mod lighting fixtures and the remains of cheap guitar jutting out of the wall, I figured this wouldn't be a bad place to do it. As Bloc Party's "Banquet" played on tinny speakers Nico and I airdrummed to our little hearts' content; we also made note of how influential the Cure's drummer is on bands like Bloc Party (if you don't know the song plastic passion then you can't understand why bands would say they cite the cure as such a big influence). I look up at the random denizens there at the bar and what do I see? Rotund perfection; a carpenter's acid trip; the head liaison of the itty-bitty titty committee had swallowed a balloon; the holy grail of the body-do. I was transfixed, mainly out of disgust, but luckily the music quickly went back to Spanish pop and I was able to snap out of it long enough to get outside and get a breath of biting fresh air.

Then I find out drunk bitch x is the girl of my dreams, but only through sleep.

MLK Jr. Day

Martin Luther King, rest in peace, they're appropriating your image for many of the wrong reasons, and for that I am sorry.

I did NOT get the day off from work here in Spain. As many of you damn well know, the last person who'd probably ever get recognized for his important contributions to civil rights is Martin Luther King Jr. I had the great fortune of attending an assembly as a youngin' in my elementary school where Jackie Robinson's widow came and talked about the man, his teammates and the game of baseball. I was so proud to be American back then, nowadays, even with Obama partying like it's 1999 (we all wish it was) and Roger Cohen rewriting Billy Joel "classics" (which I'm personally all for), it's a lot harder to maintain the wonder that I held for a hero like Jackie Robinson. For all those not in the know, he put up with a WHOLE lot of shit from the US Army, and became a commissioned officer only after the great heavyweight Joe Louis pulled some strings (with his beautiful hands...), he had his own mini-Rosa Parks like episode in which he was charged with a litany of crimes that he clearly had not committed. His baseball career started at 28, which is not all that late when you consider Ryan Howard's rookie campaign was at 27 (thanks Jim Thome...).

So, yes the President plays basketball; I like his form on the jumper. He also is an avid reader and, get this, writer. So we have mad shit to be proud of, but none if means anything if the most diabolical bank in the world is still fucking us over (Citibank has its hands in Target, Verizon, Yum Foods [KFC, Taco Bell, Pizza Hut] and a plethora of other highly visible institutions)

I don't know if it means much of anything, but check out this website.

Forgive me father for I have sinned

Some shit that I have never owned up to and ought to if I'm going to ever move on:
-Andrew Cossard, I spilled beer on your precious rug the night I carved my face open with the steak knife while trying to open that fucking Carlsberg.
-PDS men's basketball team of 2003-2004 after our heartbreaking buzzer-beater loss to WWP-South, I spilled the chocolate chip cookies on the floor of the bus, picked them up and grinned with great satisfaction as you all commented on their deliciousness.
-Jeff Pence, I didn't read the shipping news and will hold steady in that regard.
-Sophia Yang, damn that was rough stuff...
-John Butts, I yelled a single racial slur at you after several full seasons of you being a total dick and saying incredibly hurtful things.
-Hot Indian hipster girl at Oberlin, I black out drunkenly screamed at you because I was scared. Or because Truan Savage brings out the worst in me, I'm not entirely sure which one.
-Sylvia Morse, I do a convincing jewish woman accent.
-Everyone from the 4 years of intramural bball; I never played well in the championship games, sorry.
-Rod Blagojevich, spelling your name wrong.
-Stuart Abram, you got that inbounds play wrong and Mosley pulled me from the game (I was finally getting rotation minutes), you fucking asshole. Just kidding!
-Drunk bitches, 2 years younger than I, that went to The Hun School, sorry for taking that case of Corona and 40 dollars in cash from the table, if it makes you feel better I was too hungover to run in to the endzone the next day when I had noone even remotely close to me for 20 yards.
-Pretty much every girl I ever fucked (over), sorry bout that but it's a two way street, ya know?
-And finally, the Junta de Andalucía, you keep writing checks and I'll keep doing my thing.

Three Hundo

All right, three hundred posts.

Before I get to rambling, read this interesting article about the inauguration; here.

I did not know William Kristol, NYT op-ed conservative (as he calls himself), was such a Jew. Not that these things matter, but how can you write that Bush's greatest triumph in 8 years was "winning" the Iraq war; this is reminiscent of the coddling given to the lone American trying to keep up with Europeans in a friendly game of Urban football (i can only speak from experience). How many synagogues say a prayer for the US and for Israel? (Answer: I don't do that shit, so I personally haven't a clue.) So Bush, despite the expendable aspects of his allegiance, gave so very much to Israel in times of crisis (there's that buttfucking word again). I think Tom Friedman wrote a little piece last week about how Israel's strategy is not surprising; he made it seem almost as if there was a pedagogical element to the strikes on the Gaza strip, that there was no longer room to be doveish with the political climate as such. The politicization of other people's facebook "status" in conjunction with the lack of organized dissent amongst the "Joshua" generation leads me to believe that we could have the first true armchair mormon quarterback win the BCS for BYU in 2014.

Number one concern for the immediate future? Making the most delicious lunch that 5 euro can make.

How i feel everyday

This is the seaside town that they forgot to bomb.