2009/01/21
Hunting like a fox!
Chuck Klosterman did a podcast with Bill Simmons recently; of course I listened to it in its entirety. I got turned on to Klosterman somewhat recently, thanks to my good friend John Bennum; at first I thought CK’s style of prose was a tad too personal, he didn’t seem to be speaking to me as the reader as much as he was enjoying how the light bulb was going off above his head. As I’ve read more and more and more of his stuff, I’ve somewhat fallen for the same things that at first had me wincing.
As someone whose personal cultural memory is one of my few sources of entertainment, I really love it when CK sounds off on the world of sports; he had Rodney Rogers near and dear to his heart long before the recent tragedy befell my favorite former Net besides Aaron Williams.
Simmons, at the 31 minute mark (roughly), asks about a movie called Bigger, Stronger, Faster, which is not about Daft Punk/Kanye/Edwin Birdsong. He also refers to Sean Merriman as ‘Sean Marion’, that, or his Beantown accent has thrown me off, or worse, my perception of the English language is getting swallowed up as I become slightly more acclimated to the Spanish language.
They don’t discuss music very much, despite references to Nirvana’s “Nevermind”, Peter Frampton’s “Frampton…Comes Alive” and Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run”.
They DO talk about Carmelo Anthony dropping serious buckets on the Minnesota Timberwolves and how it is a Herculean feat. Then they start talking about Kobe’s 81, CK says 80 cause he’s allowed to make silly slip-ups. Simmons says, “Nobody liked Kareem:” begins reminiscing about how Wilt “The Stilt”, fan favorite if there ever was one (groupie love!), was not so thrilled that Kareem took his scoring title away from him. I don’t agree that 33 points in a quarter is the equivalent of a perfect game, but I am not sold; think about the time it takes to accomplish the perfect game, and consider the hot streak that people can go on in 12 minutes (obviously it’s still impressive and on par with some of the best basketball that has ever been played).
Then they start rambling about Obama and College Football Playoff system; borefest 2009. I can’t listen to Simmons talk about Obama, I say that, but I am listening; Obama is a great politician. CK says, “he’s in a good position, because it seems like his most rapid follower will believe anything he does,” but same went for Dubya, so try again their Chuckie, any successful politician must secure a base. Then Simmons makes an NBA analogy to the Elton Brand offseason signing; I don’t buy that, Brand completely through the Clips for a loop, and was unable to get acclimated to his new teammates successfully in the first run pre-injury. If we’re gonna do some kind of NBA analogue, I gotta give it up for Bill Bradley, perhaps too obvious a choice, but I am now happy to say that cross-racial comparisons are kosher.
The mood then shifts to great sports bust, with Webber’s love for Obama serving as a segue in to Webber’s ‘failed’ career. They talk about Kenny Anderson and say he is a serious bust; they don’t start talking about a certain other Georgia Tech alum. Then CK hits up the Ron Dayne reference; more yards than anyone, Heisman winner, but a huge NFL bust with those unreal expectations. Simmons starts to shred C Webb, then CK comes along and kind of shits all over Simmons. Then, while backtracking, he maintains his disgust of the distance between C Webb’s announcer persona and his style of play. CK makes a great point; not all analysis has to be based on personal experience, in fact some level of objectivity is required. That said, C Webb is the all time worst rapping finesse forwards ever. If anyone can unearth the Kurupt/C Webb track “Gangsta Gangsta” you will have free tapas for life.
Finally the music reference comes out; Motley Crue’s “Dr. Feelgood” vis-à-vis GnR’s “Appetite for Destruction” compared with Patrick Ewing vs. Hakeem Olajuwon. Simmons, who is a basketball genius and hopefully will release his NBA book soon, makes a great point about Pitino’s full-court press affecting the career arc of a guy with knees as sensitive as Ewing’s. Then they start talking about Jordan and Drexler; basically, a well-worn point, that Jordan being the ultimate competitor to a fault, is always revered. Simmons refers to him as “Almost homicidal” and “Pathologically competitive”; then he says he doesn’t know if, “Lebron has that gene”. I don’t think it’s genetic; I think Jordan was the right guy at the right time. Also, consider how ridiculous the supposedly self-imposed retirement for 2 years led to him coming back and absolutely destroying the league for three more titles. CK thinks Lebron can be better than Jordan because he’s bigger and a better passer; I think Adande put this shit to bed when he wrote his Lebron vs. Kobe piece and said there is a lot more Magic/Bird going on than heir to his airness. They have a quick caveat about the “incestuous” nature of the NBA fraternity and the lack of “hate” among professional athletes, as in there will never be another Bill Laimbeer beating the fuck out of anyone else on the other team. They say that hate can only manifest in this day and age from unpaid debts and adulterous actions; they must not watch the way Matt Barnes carries himself, or Darko Milicic who could start a metal band and I would officially be a fan.
CK asks all the tough questions to Simmons and I fucking love it; how much do you bet on. Gambling on sports is always going to be controversial; Klosterman says that, according to “The Last Boyscout”, that the purpose of injury reports is for the purposes of gambling.
Some self-deprecating humor, and a quick plug for Klosterman’s most recent book “Downtown Owl”. Then Klosterman plugs a new book of essays coming out next year; pure pop culture writing, and it’s all new. Also, CK is getting married, and Simmons almost sounds condescending in his congratulations. Klosterman and Simmons talk about solitary confinement, writing and the nature of people who spend their time writing; they both claim to enjoy being alone for extended periods of time. Then, right at the end, Klosterman talks about how he has some kind of amnesia about his novel; something that he obsessed over for such a long period of time, he now has moved past it in a way that somewhat disturbs him.
I guess you didn’t need me to write a synopsis, but I don’t know how many of you have the time like I do to listen to a 79 minute podcast featuring two extremely regional accents that slowly turn to nails on a chalkboard played backwards on a feedback loop. So, sorry if reading this was a huge waste of your time, but I know only those who actually cared would have read this all the way through.
As someone whose personal cultural memory is one of my few sources of entertainment, I really love it when CK sounds off on the world of sports; he had Rodney Rogers near and dear to his heart long before the recent tragedy befell my favorite former Net besides Aaron Williams.
Simmons, at the 31 minute mark (roughly), asks about a movie called Bigger, Stronger, Faster, which is not about Daft Punk/Kanye/Edwin Birdsong. He also refers to Sean Merriman as ‘Sean Marion’, that, or his Beantown accent has thrown me off, or worse, my perception of the English language is getting swallowed up as I become slightly more acclimated to the Spanish language.
They don’t discuss music very much, despite references to Nirvana’s “Nevermind”, Peter Frampton’s “Frampton…Comes Alive” and Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run”.
They DO talk about Carmelo Anthony dropping serious buckets on the Minnesota Timberwolves and how it is a Herculean feat. Then they start talking about Kobe’s 81, CK says 80 cause he’s allowed to make silly slip-ups. Simmons says, “Nobody liked Kareem:” begins reminiscing about how Wilt “The Stilt”, fan favorite if there ever was one (groupie love!), was not so thrilled that Kareem took his scoring title away from him. I don’t agree that 33 points in a quarter is the equivalent of a perfect game, but I am not sold; think about the time it takes to accomplish the perfect game, and consider the hot streak that people can go on in 12 minutes (obviously it’s still impressive and on par with some of the best basketball that has ever been played).
Then they start rambling about Obama and College Football Playoff system; borefest 2009. I can’t listen to Simmons talk about Obama, I say that, but I am listening; Obama is a great politician. CK says, “he’s in a good position, because it seems like his most rapid follower will believe anything he does,” but same went for Dubya, so try again their Chuckie, any successful politician must secure a base. Then Simmons makes an NBA analogy to the Elton Brand offseason signing; I don’t buy that, Brand completely through the Clips for a loop, and was unable to get acclimated to his new teammates successfully in the first run pre-injury. If we’re gonna do some kind of NBA analogue, I gotta give it up for Bill Bradley, perhaps too obvious a choice, but I am now happy to say that cross-racial comparisons are kosher.
The mood then shifts to great sports bust, with Webber’s love for Obama serving as a segue in to Webber’s ‘failed’ career. They talk about Kenny Anderson and say he is a serious bust; they don’t start talking about a certain other Georgia Tech alum. Then CK hits up the Ron Dayne reference; more yards than anyone, Heisman winner, but a huge NFL bust with those unreal expectations. Simmons starts to shred C Webb, then CK comes along and kind of shits all over Simmons. Then, while backtracking, he maintains his disgust of the distance between C Webb’s announcer persona and his style of play. CK makes a great point; not all analysis has to be based on personal experience, in fact some level of objectivity is required. That said, C Webb is the all time worst rapping finesse forwards ever. If anyone can unearth the Kurupt/C Webb track “Gangsta Gangsta” you will have free tapas for life.
Finally the music reference comes out; Motley Crue’s “Dr. Feelgood” vis-à-vis GnR’s “Appetite for Destruction” compared with Patrick Ewing vs. Hakeem Olajuwon. Simmons, who is a basketball genius and hopefully will release his NBA book soon, makes a great point about Pitino’s full-court press affecting the career arc of a guy with knees as sensitive as Ewing’s. Then they start talking about Jordan and Drexler; basically, a well-worn point, that Jordan being the ultimate competitor to a fault, is always revered. Simmons refers to him as “Almost homicidal” and “Pathologically competitive”; then he says he doesn’t know if, “Lebron has that gene”. I don’t think it’s genetic; I think Jordan was the right guy at the right time. Also, consider how ridiculous the supposedly self-imposed retirement for 2 years led to him coming back and absolutely destroying the league for three more titles. CK thinks Lebron can be better than Jordan because he’s bigger and a better passer; I think Adande put this shit to bed when he wrote his Lebron vs. Kobe piece and said there is a lot more Magic/Bird going on than heir to his airness. They have a quick caveat about the “incestuous” nature of the NBA fraternity and the lack of “hate” among professional athletes, as in there will never be another Bill Laimbeer beating the fuck out of anyone else on the other team. They say that hate can only manifest in this day and age from unpaid debts and adulterous actions; they must not watch the way Matt Barnes carries himself, or Darko Milicic who could start a metal band and I would officially be a fan.
CK asks all the tough questions to Simmons and I fucking love it; how much do you bet on. Gambling on sports is always going to be controversial; Klosterman says that, according to “The Last Boyscout”, that the purpose of injury reports is for the purposes of gambling.
Some self-deprecating humor, and a quick plug for Klosterman’s most recent book “Downtown Owl”. Then Klosterman plugs a new book of essays coming out next year; pure pop culture writing, and it’s all new. Also, CK is getting married, and Simmons almost sounds condescending in his congratulations. Klosterman and Simmons talk about solitary confinement, writing and the nature of people who spend their time writing; they both claim to enjoy being alone for extended periods of time. Then, right at the end, Klosterman talks about how he has some kind of amnesia about his novel; something that he obsessed over for such a long period of time, he now has moved past it in a way that somewhat disturbs him.
I guess you didn’t need me to write a synopsis, but I don’t know how many of you have the time like I do to listen to a 79 minute podcast featuring two extremely regional accents that slowly turn to nails on a chalkboard played backwards on a feedback loop. So, sorry if reading this was a huge waste of your time, but I know only those who actually cared would have read this all the way through.
Bebop (DA smokes pop)
(Photo Courtesy of Google Image Search/Realityrant.blogspot.com)
I can't pinpoint the exact moment top 40 radio's spell faded for me. Maybe it was when Martin started giving me mix cd's, maybe it was freshman year before basketball practice when Phil would enlighten me with Elephant 6 recordings, perhaps Sophomore year of college when one couldn't help but be knee deep in WOBC's at first overwhelming vaults (I wasn't an official member till way late in the game anyways). In contrast, I can't seem to pinpoint what makes top 40 stuff so popular these days; when your musical preferences are the social equivalent of living in a van down by the river, it should come as no surprise.
As far as casting music in to genres there are several other categories that confuse me to no end:
-Jazz: I've always been taught, whether from a musical or historical standpoint, that the essential element of Jazz is improvisation. What springs forth from "standards" is the virtuosic capacity to approach the same sheet music in an idiosyncratic manner that allows the listener to say, "Oh, this is a Wes Montgomery take on Green Dolphin Street," without sounding as clownish as I JUST DID! As an occasional bass player whose minimal musical literacy/Jew rhythmic skills has faded faster than David Arquette as a leading man, who was cast to utter perfection in Hamlet II, I have never felt a particular inclination towards playing Jazz, mainly because those who do tend to be rather passionate about it. There is an essence to Jazz that once obeyed the old color line of American race relations; there's a reason the old white lady, who plays Happy Gilmore's grandma, says in the O'Dweeds commerical, "I used to smoke this while listening to the Negro Jazz Music." That said, Benny Goodman was making the big band swing just as hard as any of his contemporaries; the clarinet is such a Jewish instrument it ought to come with a coupon for a free bottle of Gefilte fish.
-Folk: Most kids I know, who grew up in the US of A, learned to sing songs like "Oh Susannah" and "She'll be Coming 'round the Mountain" in school as youngin's. I am not exactly sure what the point was, other than being simple melodies and progressions by which to slowly develop the voices of disinterested, snot-nose brats who generally yelp them out with no regard for technique or form. I suppose that's exactly the point of folk music; it's all about the simplicity in delivering the message. That said, the Acoustic guitar does not connote folk music, yet time and time again I am seeing people call themselves some derivative of the folk genre; folk-rocker, indie-folk (huh?), etc. It's not like it really matters, but you can't be an American in the age of access and legitimately claim to play folk music (unless you're Bob Dylan, and no you are not Bob Dylan, yes I'm talking to you Cate Blanchett!).
-Tribute: The ABSOLUTE worst thing that happened to Darfur is the reckless carnage that has ensued, somewhat uninterrupted, for what feels like an eternity. In a close second place is that compilation of John Lennon covers that they tried to hawk to "raise money for Darfur"; first of all, what the fuck does that even mean? No apologies to anyone here, fuck Green Day, fuck U2, fuck everybody who claims to care, but doesn't do anything. Also, band-specific cover bands are such a travesty that I have to stop typing in fear that I will destroy my lovely computer.
It's really too bad they couldn't get the clearance to blatantly rip-off stairway, but as the old saying on Wayne's World went:
Why is Tia Carrere going gaga over three single coil pickups and a whammy bar; she's the frontwoman/bassist for an up and coming joan jett/asia carrera throwback band and she's excited about features that come standard on basically every strat ever? At least Mike makes a nice showing with the Pre-CBS banter...
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