Bribery

I had a legit cup of coffee this morning. Then the bartender, while attempting to consolidate the "tomate natural", squeezed the dregs of a bottle all over his Dolce & Gabanna T-Shirt. I don't think he got the joke when I smiled and said, "now you know how I feel everyday of the week."

I have been riding the NYT coattails hard this week, but for good reason. It should come as no surprise, then, that I will link to another great statistics-laden, but altogether endearing piece by one Charles Blow; best name in the biz as far as this japanese-jew is concerned (editors note: It's true, I'm not even remotely Mexican). READ HERE

In other news:

-Mehmet Okur will hopefully, one day, elicit offers similar to those extended to Visanthe Shianco; via deadspin.com.

-Some asshole thought it would be a good idea to green light a film about an awkward teenager who works at an amusement park where he has the time of his life before heading off to college. FUCK THAT! (Caveat: this is only because a good friend of mine has a much better idea of how to make the amusement park film. Hint: Slackers, pedophiles and contraband)

-Meatballs is still the best camp movie to get referenced in Wet Hot American Summer.

-Three worst teams in the NBA: LA, Boston and Cleveland. Wait, scratch that, it's the opposite, but still it felt good when I wrote it.

-Drunk jews all dance like a Costanza: